Oh my God, I can't believe how terrified I am. I am more nervous than I have been about anything in my life - even the Boat Race - in three days time I will be running 26.2 miles (or at least trying to).
It feels such a long time since I've done a proper run (you're meant to taper down in the last fortnight) that I feel like my legs won't remember what they're meant to do, I've been having nightmares about over-sleeping on race-day morning (Ha! As if I'm going to get any sleep the night before) and I am convinced that I'm going to twist an ankle or catch a cold or have my legs broken some time before Sunday morning. To not be able to run it now would just be the worst imaginable thing. Not only would it affect my sponsorship money, but my Edinburgh show is partly dependent on me doing this. And let's face it, six months of (on and off) training and the pain of those long runs would all have been for nothing. I think I might find it hard to go on living.
I was out for a gentle CNPS run this morning and I was ultra-aware of the dangers and the accidents that could befall me in the streets.
A street-cleaner was waving his broom around, oblivious to me approaching him - one sharp jerk back and I would be sent flying head-first on to the pavement. A man in a mini-bus was revving up his engine at an intersection, whilst talking to his friend on the street. He was clearly about to drive off, but would he bother checking the road before he did? Should I stop running and wait or hope that luck would be on my side?
I didn't even need anyone else's help. At one point I slipped off the kerb and landed awkwardly on my dodgier ankle. I felt a twinge of pain and inwardly screamed "Nooooooo!", but it turned out I was OK.
I was so concerned about what slapstick situation I might get into next (perhaps a man with a plank would turn to see who was shouting for him, or a big barrel of ball-bearings would fall off a lorry or some old men in a shopping trolley would come careering down a hill towards me and knock me into a pond) that I wasn't even looking at number-plates properly (now that is serious). Then I saw a car at the traffic lights in front of me, that must have just driven by. It was a bit far away, but I was fairly sure it was the 590 that I craved. The plate was a bit dirty, so I couldn't be sure and just as I picked up my pace to get closer, the traffic lights changed and it sped round the corner. I was 95% sure that it was a 590. But in CNPS 95% is not a pass. I berated myself. With so far to go in such a short time I can't afford to make such mistakes.
But this might be a way to get round the Marathon course. If someone is just prepared to drive a car with the number-plate I need, just too far ahead of me to be clearly seen and at a pace that I can only just keep up with, but not catch, then I'll be speeding around in record breaking time.
The sponsorship total passed £6000 today, which is fantastic. It's making me feel a bit teary to think of all the support you are giving me. But not quite teary enough to actually produce tears.
So if you want to see a grown man cry, either be around the 19 mile point of the Marathon on Sunday, or get your credit card out and sponsor me at the link above. I have just noticed that I am 10th on the just giving top on-line fundraisers list. Let's see if we can bump me up to 5th. Admittedly all the other people above me seem to have incredibly deserving causes, usually involving some awful and moving personal tragedy in their lives. But don't let that stop you donating money to me, who has never had a bad thing happen to him in his life. Come on. Sponsor me now!
My nearly completed poster for Edinburgh is now up in the downloads section of this site, created by Simon Thorp from Viz. Have a look and let me know what you think of it.
