Warming Up

Saturday 17th December 2005

I woke up in the middle night feeling confused and unwell. A bit panicky and scared like you used to sometimes when you were a kid and found yourself waking up in unfamiliar surroundings when you'd just dreamt that a monster was eating you.
I didn't know what could be wrong. Perhaps I had had an unsettling dream that I couldn't quite remember. Or maybe it was something to do with that fact that I had drunk a little too much red wine and eaten two Christmas dinners at the two parties that I'd been to last night (one dinner at each, I am not some kind of glutton).
I was unsettled and felt afraid and alone in the Universe. Although I couldn't remember what I had just dreamt, it felt like it was something that had eloquently explained why life was meaningless and why there was little to no point in carrying on. Either that or there was point in carrying on, but you shouldn't eat two dinners in a night. Either way I couldn't sleep.
So I went downstairs and watched some telly that I had recorded and an hour later I couldn't remember what had been so upsetting. Which isn't to say that life isn't meaningless, but it's much easier to cope with if you forget exactly what the problem is.