The new Talking Cock programmes arrived this lunchtime - it's always exciting to see them for the first time, but however hard I proof-read I always spot four or five errors on the first read-through. Nothing too major this time - Ferrero gets misspelled once and there are a couple of things that could have been written more clearly. It looks great. If you come and see the show from now on, you'll get one for free.
The previews are progressing well too, though I found it refreshing to have have a couple of days off from the show, so am slightly regretting putting in so many previews. I was in a hot, packed room above a pub and had to take off my suit jacket after ten minutes, but was being playful and discovering new gags as I went along. When I got to the bit about penile injuries I warned the audience that a man had once fainted during this section of the show (It was a long time ago, so I am a bit surprised to find out
it was something I blogged about - I've been doing this too long) - weirdly
I ended up going to that man's wedding.
I seemed to have got through the blood spurting and cock mincing part of the show and was discussing the cock sizes of people who'd filled in my questionnaire, when I noticed a bit of a kerfuffle in the second row. A young man was swaying and his head bobbing up and down and the woman he was with was trying to hold on to him. It looked very much like he was having a fit and sure enough he fell to the floor. I stopped the show and asked if there was a doctor in the audience. As it happened the three men in the front row who I'd been picking on were all doctors and they went to his aid.
I was in the difficult position of trying to keep the momentum of the show going, whilst not wanting to make light of what might be someone in serious trouble. I tried to chip in with a few jokes and wondered if it was the idea of a man with a 14 inch penis that had sent him crashing to the floor. I suspected it was a delayed reaction to the talk of bleeding helmets, but it had looked like it might be something worse than that. I promised to dedicate the rest of the performance to him if he died - the audience didn't find that too funny.
Luckily he was soon back on his feet and he went outside to get out of the heat. Later he emailed to tell me that it was indeed just a reaction to the injury material and that it had happened to him once before. I hope he will invite me to his wedding.
It was fortunate that he hadn't been with me earlier. I had spent the afternoon ordering bedroom furniture and buying a new duvet and sheets. As I was putting on the white duvet cover I noticed that there was a small amount of blood on it, which freaked me out as I had no injuries, so assumed that I might have been given soiled or second hand goods. That seemed unlikely as the duvet cover was crisp and clean otherwise, so I checked my hands and discovered that I had somehow managed to cut my finger. On some cotton. Which surely is impossible. Yet there was the cut.
Good job I wasn't putting this thing on naked or two people might have fainted today.
Anyway, beware my friends. This show has taken down two grown men (at least - got a tweet from someone saying they had fainted back in 2003 too) and may take down more. With great power comes great responsibility.
