There is a point where deadlines become so impossible to meet that rather than being fearsome and motivating, they become laughable and redundant. I am supposed to finish my film on Monday. Well, in fact I was supposed to finish it last autumn. Every time I have passed a deadline I have spoken to the production company and we have agreed a more realistic deadline which I have insisted I can meet (the previous one was the end of December), and yet each time events and apathy conspire and I literally cross the line. So far no-one has got angry with me. They’ve just looked a bit annoyed and said “We really like this idea. If you write it, we will almost certainly make it. So when can you do it by?” Last time I said, “Well I have to finish my book by April 24th so realistically I will definitely be able to have a strong first draft by the end of June.”
Of course what I failed to take into account was the extent to which I would miss my book deadline and also the extent to which I would be mentally exhausted once IÂ’d done that and be in need of a long holiday or a short rope tied to a high bridge.
As I drank one beer at lunch with my book editor, feeling like some kind of extremely low rent and small-bladdered Chris Evans, I laughed to myself about how I was failing to meet the verbal contract I had entered into once again.
I considered ringing my manager and asking him if I could extend the deadline to the end of August, or even September as I could do with a couple of months off. But then I figured it might be better not to draw attention to myself in the hope that everyone else would forget our agreement.
I think thereÂ’s a big part of me that doesnÂ’t want to write this film at all, but thereÂ’s a small part that thinks it could be really brilliant if I get it right. My editor suggested that I just write it quickly and badly and get it over with, but I canÂ’t countenance that, partly out of professionalism (the script has to be as good as I know it could be) and partly because IÂ’m scared they might end up making it and everyone would think I was crap.
It isnÂ’t just laziness or tiredness that is causing the brain jam (in both senses), itÂ’s because the idea is actually quite complicated and IÂ’m having difficulty getting all the elements into a cohesive form.
Plus I also really like playing Freecell on my computer and want to beat my record of 36 consecutive wins.
