I spent the day writing episode 5 of TWTTIN. It came together quite well, although I was lucky enough to be able to adapt things from several old projects that fitted into the script quite nicely. I combined elements from Ra-Ra Rasputin, Lionel Nimrod's Inexplicable World, Richard Herring is All Man, Punk's Not Dead and Talking Cock. I actually felt quite proud of myself for pillaging my past so effectively. It is the good thing about having worked so very hard when I was young. Now my brain has atrophied I can still draw on this vast reservoir of material that essentially no-one has heard. Though I do look forward to the internet comedy forum tights getting apoplectic at my reuse of something that no-one except them has ever seen. I was particularly pleased though with my reworking of the Mastermind bit from Punk's Not Dead. I was going to do it as a monologue, but now it is the character of the buzzer bloke and I think it works really nicely. And personally I feel it's a shame that that nice comedy idea is left forgotten and unused and it's cool to bring it to a wider audience - even though the radio 2 audience is not even that wide in itself. I apologise for my laziness though. I must be the least prodigious writer in the country.
I was doing a recording for a stand up show for Radio 4 this evening. I think it will be on the radio in December, but keep an eye on the side-bar for details. I think it's called "4 Stands Up" and it is hosted by the irrepressible, Michael McIntyre who I got to know
at the Montreal Festival.
It was being recorded at "Up The Creek" and when I had arrived the first show was in progress which meant I had to be shown to the back entrance down a scary Greenwich back alley - the bouncer who escorted me saying that if anyone is giving them trouble they suggest that they step out the back of the venue and that is usually enough to make them behave. Murders and Victorian prostitute rippings have probably happened back here and gone completely unreported, due to its inaccessibility.
I went up to the room where the comics are hanging out to find Tom Basden and Wil Hodgson (the current and ex "Perrier" best newcomer winners) looking at the large painting on the wall of the Last Supper with Malcolm Hardee as Jesus and various comedic stalwarts as his disciples. I have tried to find a photo of it on the internet, but with no luck, so let me know if you have one and I will stick it up here. They were trying to work out who was who as some of the caricatures are more successful than others. There is what I believe is Ben Elton as Judas which is a nice touch and Lenny Henry, Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders, Tommy Cooper and Frankie Howard. There was only one we couldn't quite work out, but we guessed it was probably meant to be Jerry Sadowitz. Someone should attach a note with the identities of the comedians because one day there will be no-one alive who can identify them. Later a woman came up to me and asked if one of the people was Annie Lennox - but she was in fact looking at Julian Clary. She also asked who Jesus was. It was a little sad to think that someone could be backstage at Up the Creek and be unaware of Malcolm Hardee. But this is how life is. Time moves on and gradually we are forgotten.
Whilst some of the other pictures are not that spot on the one of Malcolm is chillingly precise. It even has a pair of actual spectacles on it, giving a three dimensional quality and at times I would look at it and wonder if it was actually him with his face through the wall and the whole dying falling into the river thing had been an enormous hoax. Still it would be a lot of effort for him to keep that still.
The gig was lovely and as I seem to do about every six months I felt like I am now really getting somewhere with stand up. Then six months passes and I have moved on further and I realise that actually I was rubbish six months ago and am now good. So wait til next June where I will be explaining why I wasn't actually any good tonight. Michael is one of the best MCs I have ever seen, probably second only to Daniel Kitson. He was cheeky and funny and playful with the audience and managed to spin entire routines out of subjects that were suggested by the crowd. He had them eating out of his hand. Some MCs create a tense and weird atmosphere that makes it harder to do your stuff, but even though Michael probably did the best of anyone who was on tonight there was such a lovely mood in the room that it was not difficult to follow him. If anything the audience were more ready to enjoy the other acts because of the terrific atmosphere he had created. Go and see him if you get a chance. Plus he looks like a fat Chinaman when he smiles. What could be better than that?
Having been in my blog he was endearingly desperate to get in again and asked me if I would write about him. I told him I probably wouldn't. In an effort to get in he told me that he calls me "Dick Her Ring" which is more of an instruction than a name. He wondered if anyone else had ever made this joke and amazingly I don't think they have, mainly going for the more obvious fish based gags, which would distract a lesser comic mind. Others have of course spotted the Dick/dick connotations, but been so pleased with themselves for that they have not looked further. Only McIntyre has managed to wring the maximum comic potential out of my name and made my parents look foolish for naming their child after a command to engage in anal sex with a female.
But he got into Warming Up anyway. He should have saved that up for another day, cos now it's going to be really hard for him to get in here again. The laughing Chinaman fool.
