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Monday 5th April 2004

As a committed atheist (you know apart from believing in the 999 CNPS gods who are definitely real) it is my belief that when we die, that's the end of it. I certainly hope that's the case, because existing for the rest of infinite time would be too much for me. I can think of nothing worse. Especially as I will no longer have my body, because nearly everything I do that is any kind of fun is physical rather than mental. And most of my mental activity involves imagining the fun I could have with my body if only the opportunities were there. Just being a floating spirit thing with no mouth, stomach or genitals would be rubbish. I'd much rather be a floating mouth, stomach and genitals with no brain.
And apart from the floating part that's pretty much what I am.
I suppose I could always live in a swimming pool if I wanted to float as well.
Anyway, for many reasons I'm pretty much convinced that there isn't a life after death, so I'm not going to waste any time praying to anyone imaginary to make sure they put me somewhere nice, rather than nasty when the fateful day arrives.
Of course if I'm wrong there might be Hell to pay, but I'll take that chance. And then I'll be laughing on the other side of my burning, sulphorous face (but at least I'll still be laughing). As Bart Simpson opined, you'd probably get used to the fires of Hell eventually, like when you're in a hot bath. Also my body will have been left behind; it's just my soul that would be getting tortured and like all great artists my soul is used to that already. Just being burnt with sulphur would be like a free day at a health spa for my soul.
If it existed.
Which it doesn't.

Even though I think there's no god and no after-life, I do really, really wish that there was just a tiny short one. Just for all these idiots who blow themselves or someone else up in the name of God and in the hope of some kind of Access All Areas pass to paradise. I hope that whoever put the Universe together arranged for some kind of recorded message to be played to all religious fanatics which just says, "Ha ha, you were wrong. There is no God, you fucking idiot. How do you feel about what you've done now? Pretty stupid, huh? Ah well. Bye now."
Of course the existence of such a message would just prove that someone had created the Universe and would spoil its own point, but it seems a pity that these idiots die thinking they are doing something Holy and never get any conscious acknowledgement that they're wrong.
Whilst if I'm wrong I get infinity burning in Hell, with the heat of the sulphur going up a bit every time I think I'm getting used to it. God damn!

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