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The Sara Pascoe RHLSTP dropped today
Listen on audio here
Or watch it here
I had been looking forward to this one as about 30 minutes in Sara drops a reported sexual rumour about me that knocks the high-backed armchair out of the water. Spoilers coming if you don't want to ruin the show.
She claimed that the rumour on the stand up circuit was that when I was having sex I liked to throw money in the face of my partner. Which would be bad enough. But apparently I liked to use coins.
Had I not been shocked by the UNTRUE accusation I might have had the wit to respond - look anyone who knows me would attest that I have far too much respect for money to treat it so badly.
As I say in the podcast I am amazed that all the rumours I've heard about myself are so weird and wrong. Partly because I am a pretty vanilla and boring sexual partner and partly because I'd have thought there was plenty of true stuff to gossip about from my time as a single man. But there we go. I am sort of happy to be seen as such a weirdo.
I think I can at least work out the provenance of this one though. I had heard rumours (which I think might well be true) of a famous comedian who when paid in cash liked to throw the money on the bed and have sex on top of it (with a partner, though I suspect he might have done it alone too).
I seem to recall when I dated another comedian joking about this and then pointing out that as I usually had a bucket of change with me because of my Scope collection and how it would be funny and much less comfortable if that was what I was into. But I wouldn't do that, especially with charity money. Or any money. I don't do it. I don't want 20p up my mouse hole and anyone who says I do is a liar.
So I guess she may have shared the joke with her friends and then the joke turned into a rumour and then the rumour turned into me then throwing coins at people.
It was pretty funny of Sara to confront me with this. Even though I now have a new comedy trope to have my life blighted with.
It's not true though. Why are my denials making you believe it is?
I was asked to stay behind when I picked Phoebe up from school today. The teacher told me that they'd been reading a story about Geoffrey the giraffe and the kids had been asked to describe the character and Phoebe had said that Geoffrey was a “wankerâ€. The teacher had admitted that they had laughed at this accidentally and assumed she'd said something else, but upon repetition it became clear that yup, she though Geoffrey was a wanker.
It's not like this reflects badly on her is it? It's clear who is to blame, but in fact this isn't a word that I think we have used in front of her. She's picked up some much worse stuff from us. But it's not a good look for a five year old. Phoebe seemed upset when the story was being relayed and she is just using a word she's heard - just not from me. I know I am just denying responsibility for everything today.
To be fair at bedtime she said something much worse to me. Ah well, the sky potato doesn't fall far from the tree. She's a funny little wanker this girl.
