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Monday 9th November 2020

6554/19474

Off to lick a milestone. Who would have thought that was the answer all along?
If I'd given as many old men an erection as Ian Pfizer has, I'd have  rested on my laurels. But he's out inventing vaccines now. I guess he has a vested interest in keeping the old and limp alive though.
Who am I kidding? I've given plenty of old men an erection. Well I've given one old man a lot of erections. (I am the old man)

I was playing light cabers using swimming noodles with Ernie tonight. “I'm Darth Vader” said Ernie (worrying choice when he had first pick - he may be heading to the dark side). “I'm Luke Skywalker,” I replied, though feeling a bit weird about the reversal of the generations.
“You killed my father!” I challenged him as he expertly parried away my noodle.
Ernie didn't respond.
“What do you say?” I prompted, hoping he might remember the line.
He looked at me and having been asked this question a million times before gave his standard reply, “Sorry?”
To be fair I think  that would be a big improvement on the original.

I am wasting my days away at the moment, not getting anything productive done. Maybe I've achieved enough this year, but I wish I was using my spare time reading books rather than playing video games and dicking about on the internet. I have resolved to change my ways many, many times, but nothing seems to happen. Perhaps this is who I am and I should accept it.
It makes me think of a morning where I was lying in my bed in Shepherd's Bush thinking, “Hey, if I just tried to do 10 press ups every day I wonder what difference it would make.” That seemed like an achievable goal that I could fit into my schedule. 
I never did it even once.
But I think about it all the time. 
I don't know how long ago I thought that, but it's definitely more than 3 years sine I slept in that room and I reckon it was at least two years before we moved. Where would I be if I'd done 10 press ups every day for five years, rather than just thought (pretty much every day) about the time I thought about doing it?
People can change. I believe that. And I have made some major shifts in my lifestyle especially in the last 13 years. 
But we don't change all that often.
Maybe I should do the press up thing and read in the bath instead of playing Homescapes.

Completely fails to do so.

Another lovely clip from Taskmaster, in which cheeky Greg Davies manages to cause embarrassment to (spoiler alert) prim Katherine Parkinson. I love the way he pushes things and this was a perfect bit of comedy of personality. I have a feeling it went on even longer in the studio and it was wondrous to feel the tension - there's another great one (hopefully) coming up when he's rude about some art she did. So much gold is lost due to time constraints. Though even in the outtakes my job is mainly to sit on the end laughing.

The first signed copy of “The Problem With Men” went for an incredible £320 -all of that money will go to Refuge. I ensured the package sent out included lots of extra stuff (as I always do) to thank the very generous winner. More ebay stuff to come, no doubt.




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