Up early to appear on the Sean Keaveny's Breakfast show on 6Music. Everyone there was ill (and Andrew Collings has also picked up some kind of lurgy whilst working there this week), so I was taking my life in my hands. Though my girlfriend has had a nasty coughy flu thing for about a month and I have managed to avoid it. So hopefully I can fend off these germs too. It was an enjoyable interview (from my point of view at least)- you can hear it
two hours 21 minutes in on iPlayer (for the next week). And if you want to see the show
tour details are here.
For the rest of the day I was preparing for an appearance at Karaoke Circus, a terrifically fun evening in which comedians and members of the public get to sing in front of a live band and then get judged by a clown. You really have to be there. I had elected to sing the Jam song "Down in the Tube Station at Midnight", an enjoyably raucous song with a crowd-pleasing chant for audience participation. It took me right back to 1978 and my schooldays, although it was a tricky lyric to remember (though you luckily have the option of reading the words off a sheet, which I ended up using a little bit). It's an awesome song, with Weller at his raw and angry best.
The Lyrics are a mixture of glorious and ridiculous, but then anyone who has heard my teenage poetry will know that I am in no position to criticise. It all happens so fast it's easy to miss stuff, but there are some wonderful sections, like "The glazed, dirty steps - repeat my own and reflect my thoughts
Cold and uninviting, partially naked
Except for toffee wrappers and this morning's papers"
As well as the description of the thugs having "gruff, blazing voices". But as I am sure I am not the first to point out there are some odd moments in the story too. It's pretty strange for example that the protagonist of the song has a curry with him on the underground. It's possible, of course, that he knows a really great takeaway that is far from his home, but most people would go for somewhere more local, or get a delivery. And it's midnight, which is very late for a curry. But maybe he works in the evenings. His wife at home, waits for him, but I would say she is foolish to have uncorked the wine before her husband has returned home. Why not wait til he's there? You might think the wine needs to breathe, but later on it is revealed that is sparkling wine (it will have gone flat) and you really should drink that while it's still fizzy.
Perhaps all this is possible, but I would say that the man in the story makes a massive mistake when challenged by a group of strangers so late in the tube. If you are in this situation yourself and a gang says "Have you got any money?" to you. It's probably best to just say no, or keep your head down or move away quickly. Do not admit that you have a little money and don't give them your life story. With the benefit of hindsight it was probably a mistake to engage in conversation.
I love the line "They smelt of pubs and Wormwood Scrubs
And too many right wing meetings", cos we all know what they smell like. But as the actor Kevin Eldon pointed out on the night this implies that it would be OK if they had been to slightly fewer right wing meetings. The "too many" is quite telling. It's possible to go to just enough, but these boys had taken it too far.
I wonder if the young Weller knew what the word "atheist" meant, as he sees "Jesus Saves" written on the wall and assumes it is painted by an atheist nutter. But why would an atheist paint that, unless in an ironic way and would it be possible to ascertain that irony whilst lying prone on the floor after a kicking (especially given that in the previous verse he has claimed that he can't see anyway). But the kicking has obviously skewed his sense of priorities because whilst he is worried that the thugs will take his keys and go home to his wife (how do they know his address and would they take this chance?) he is more concerned that his curry is now cold (he really should have bought it nearer to the house - his tube might well have been delayed and he was, in any case, really risking missing the last tube home) and the sparkling wine is flat (he shouldn't have married a woman stupid enough to open the cava to let it breathe). And why didn't the thugs steal his curry? As well as whatever plummy snack that was bought just seconds before.
If I was the man I would be more concerned about the fact that I was about to die, but he is not only easily distracted by advertising and satirical assaults on religion, and has also managed to compose a very catchy song about his experience and somehow commit it to tape. Only for Paul Weller to come along, find the tape, listen back to it and decide that rather than calling an ambulance he will steal the tune and story and make it his own.
Anyway, it was fun to give my interpretation of this song in the evening and it was definitely my best Karaoke Circus performance yet. Which isn't saying much. I was never one of those comedians who really wanted to be a rock star. I only wanted to be a comedian. But singing in front of a brilliant live band is an amazing experience. The whole night was fun. Here, for example is
the actor Kevin Eldon (apparently in 3D??) signing "I am the Walrus with a terrifying Paul Putner dressed as a clown faced policeman. Good times!
