It's been a while since I've let Me1 and Me2 out of the box, but this lunchtime I headed down to a Methodist Church in Canton, Cardiff to participate in the first Me1 vs Me 2 world championship of snooker. Chris Evans (not that one) had been scouring the city for a 6 by 3 table (Me 2 refused to play on anything smaller as he thought it would make a mockery of the game, but any bigger and the frame would never end) and had located one in this church. He'd booked the room, but we had to be out by 1.30pm because a dance group was going to be practising in there. But when he got there he discovered the dance group had changed the time of their rehearsal without telling anyone, so we had to wait until they had stopped dancing to Copacobana. Which was probably lucky as it also turned out that none of the church's cues had tips and there were no snooker balls with the table (only pool ones) so the Welsh misfit had to go out and purchase some, which took him quite a while.
It was all ridiculous and fittingly tawdry, but by the time I showed up six cameras were set up to film the frame (there'd been a misunderstanding about who had been bringing which cameras, which is why we had so many) and we were pretty much ready to start. This videoed frame (Me2 was annoyed that the purity of the event was being compromised by adding vision and that there weren't boxes and obstacles around the table) was not going to be added to the podcast tally - this was a one off event, where one player would win a trophy. Not that I had thought to buy a trophy, so I scoured the room and found a fancy candlestick in a cupboard. I managed to unscrew the pointy bit where the candle went and then took the spare spotted white billiard ball from the set Evans had bought, to create a fitting award for whoever was going to win. I named it "The Chris Evans (not that one) Trophy".
The frame will appear as an extra on the forthcoming "What is Love, Anyway?" DVD (which should hopefully be released in a month or two) and so I cannot reveal which of the Mes won the tourney, though I will reveal that Me2 won the all important coin toss for who would break - and at this standard of snooker that gave him an enormous advantage and the opportunity to clear the table there and then. I won't say any more, except that the frame ended on a very controversial note, which in any of the audio frames wouldn't be an issue, but you will be able to review the footage and decide if the ultimate winner deserved to win. It couldn't be more exciting.
I had time, whilst the proper men who'd filmed this were packing up, to record another audio frame, which will be up in the usual places on Monday hopefully. It wasn't as exciting a frame and I felt a bit self-conscious that there was an audience - even though no one was actually paying attention to what I was doing. I felt self-conscious that I was doing something so pathetic in front of men with proper jobs. Not that I was making any kind of a living from this podcast - if anything I was going to be alienating people who liked me already - but all the Mes were aware of how stupid they were. And after the excitement of the filmed frame I think the audio one was always going to seem mundane. But basically it's not a good idea to do more than one of these in a day, probably not more than one in a week. One a year would probably be too many.
I thought about stealing the candlestick trophy and adding it to my other trophies, but the Methodists had been so trusting of us that I couldn't do it. Even though we were leaving them a decent cue and a set of snooker balls.
We also recorded a couple of other bits of extras about my wedding and the genesis of the routines in the show. As always we are hoping to make the package as good value as possible. Think there's going to be lots of good stuff on this one. Plus a half hour, multi-angled film of a man playing himself at snooker.
I also got to watch the recording of the show from the Bloomsbury and was surprisingly pleased with it. I made a few annoying errors, but only ones that I will really notice and I looked scruffy despite wearing my suit, but it's a novelty to have a DVD in a big theatre, packed with people. I never feel too comfortable watching stuff that I am in and I could only think I am unusual looking man, with piggy eyes who touches his nose a lot during a performance, but hopefully you'll enjoy it more and be less critical of these things. I think this is my best show and the best DVD recording yet, so hope you'll buy it when it comes out.
After this strange and self-indulgent day I was back to the echoey museum to have dinner with the humanists and see Richard Dawkins accept an award from the BHA. I was sat so close I could have thrown a monkey at him and shouted, "That's your grandad!" But I didn't. I just listened politely. Everyone else was in awe and who wouldn't be? This is a man who married a Time Lord. Surprised the BHA think that's enough of a reason to honour him, but that's not my place to say.
The answer to the anagram was "Origin of Species". If it took you more than 3 seconds then I am best than you!
