I attended a surprise dinner party to celebrate the 40th birthday of Paul "The Put" Putner (I like that nickname because it's one that I never use in anything but print and would never want to call him to his face) who you may know as the Curious Orange or if you are unfamiliar with my work from the last century you might know him as the bloke from off of the sketch about weightwatchers in the mildly successful TV series
Little Britain. He is one of the nicest men in show business and I can't believe he's 40. I thought he was about 56. Ha ha, I am funny.
As it was a surprise all his mates had been asked to meet at 7pm in a restaurant in swanky Crouch End, and Paul himself would arrive about half an hour later, thinking he was out for dinner with just one friend, when bammo! He would see all of us and the surprise would be complete. Happiness would be the unstoppable consequence.
Paul has quite a dispirate group of friends, some of whom, like the actor Kevin Eldon I knew very well, others who I had a nodding acqaintance with and some others who I had met only briefly or not at all. Basically it was unlikely that we would all gather in one place were it not for Paul Putner. The Put was the only single connection between this dozen or so disciples.
Which prompted me to ponder on how amusing it would be upon Paul's arrival if we all pretended it was just a coincidence that we were at the same restaurant as him and that we had all just happened to get together for a bite to eat and then he walks in and finds us. So some comedians he'd worked with, some friends from school and some actors, all of whom were in his top twenty pals had independently rung round each other and fixed up a time when they could all meet for some grub, but decided not to invite Paul because although that was their only connection, none of them really liked him. Then how embarrassing would it be if Paul just happened to walk in to that restaurant and see all his "friends" having a great time without him. They'd have to pretend it was a surprise party they had organised for him and hope that he'd fall for that or he would be very hurt. Don't tell him, but that's what happened.
It was a smashing night. As you'd expect "The Puteroon" has the loveliest friends. Happy Birthday Put-Man. Sadly it won't be too long til my 40th, so if you could organise a dinner with all my friends that I am not invited to, then that would be perfick.
