Warming Up

That fucker Banksy has nicked my idea of reinstating the Colston statue at the centre of a new sculpture that depicts it being pulled down by protestors and passed it off as his own. And now everyone is crediting him with it. Never mind that a bloke tweeted me to tell me he'd had the same idea the day before I tweeted it. It's MY idea. I now want there to be another sculpture a few feet away of me having the idea for the statue and tweeting about it, with Banksy skulking behind me and stealing it.

It's possible that several people could have come up with this idea independently. But they didn't. I did it on my own and everyone copied me. Even the bloke who tweeted about it first.

We took our first family excursion in what feels like a lifetime this afternoon to go to see the dinosaurs at Knebworth House. We have been in lockdown so long that the giant lizards have had time to re-evolve and Ian Knebworth has put them in a big dinosaur park, saying “I can't see what could go wrong.”

We nearly didn't get in as we'd assumed it wouldn't be that busy, but it turned out you were supposed to pre book, but the nice lady at the gate phoned her manager and we were told we could come in. Numbers were limited of course, but it was still fairly busy, but social distancing was in place and people were pretty careful and to be fair there was surely more chance of kids being devoured by dinosaurs than catching a virus. Get your priorities right.

More fascinating than the oddly still terror lizards was being in the company of people again. It's going to be a long and slow process back to normality and I wouldn't be surprised if a second lockdown is required, especially with loads of twats shooting off to see dinosaurs (that on second thoughts I am not even convinced were real).

It was good for the kids to see other kids still exist (even if they couldn't interact) and it felt nice to eat over priced ice cream and for once feel that the man in the van was justified in trying to make some money. It would have been annoying if we'd had to turn around at the gate and go home, but even having the whole family in a car again felt like a special occasion.

This extraordinary situation should at least make us appreciate the mundane and normal parts of life, before we forget all about it and go back to our old ways.

If events don't overtake us.