I had the briefest brush with the law today. I had driven down to Hammersmith to go to the gym and do a supermarket shop. By the time I was heading home it was about 7.30 and the traffic was bad and I was concerned that I was going to be late for my gig in High Wycombe (needn't have worried. It started at 9, rather than 8 as I had been imagining).
I was crawling up the Shepherd's Bush road and approaching some traffic lights when I spotted a gap between the car in the right hand lane and a parked car outside a pub. If I could get through that gap I would be better postioned to get on with my journey and into the bus lane, which was now open to all traffic.
The parked car was a police car and as I started edging by I thought how bad it would be if I were to bump it or scratch it on my way past. The gap got narrower the further I went and my wing mirror clipped the wing mirror of the car on the right, but then my left hand wing mirror connected a little more forcefully with the police car's wing mirror. Luckily both cars' wing mirrors were the type that spring back and my own mirror folded in, and the police car's one folded back.
I had to stop at the lights, when I saw one of the policemen clock what had happened. He started walking towards me. Surely he wouldn't have a problem. No damaged had been caused.
I wound down my window to push out my own mirror and he approached and checked the paint work on my car. He brushed his finger over it as if to suggest that I had taken off a little bit of his paintwork.
"Sorry," I said, "No harm done surely."
"I'll just check," he replied with a serious look on his face. I had visions of being pulled over and having to give him all my details for the terrible crime I had committed.
He walked slowly and deliberately to his car. He was balding and approaching middle age and carrying a few extra pounds, but this was probably not the best time to point any of that out.
Was he going to turn out to be a jobsworth, pedantic wanker and write me up for doing some imperceptible damage to his vehicle? You never know.
Luckily, he came back and pulled a face and said everything was fine. I gave him the thumbs up and got on my way. He turned out to be nice and not officious and I was grateful as I couldn't really afford any hold up. Had he had a different type of attitude then things might have been very different and I might have had to write this entry from the cells. But I am still a free man, despite my fantasies of imprisoning Christians and despite some of the awful things I was to say on stage later on. Not Kramer awful. Just acceptable Jesus hand-raping, 19 year old girl leching after awful.
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Question 21
I am on a diet and thus drinking a lot of diet Coca Cola (other cola drinks are available). How many kcals are there in 100ml of diet coca cola?
