A funny thing happened in the
Collings and Herring podcast (which is a relief after 19 episodes). It was right near the end and I had been quite enjoying myself, making Andrew feel genuinely uncomfortable by suggesting we make a sex tape to boost publicity. He seemed opposed to the idea, which I thought was a bad move as we should be building up a will they/won't they subtext to the series to keep listeners interested. Luckily he didn't call my bluff, as the idea of bumming the Mark Steel faced Northampton idiot disgusts me. Even though I know secretly that is what he wants.
I like the way the totally ad libbed nature of this podcast means we (well mainly I) end up going too far at times. Or things just peter out. But luckily there's plenty more crap round the next corner to move on to. I think it's really good. You should listen to it if you haven't already.
Anyway at the end of the podcast I decided to make up for scaring Collings by promoting the new edition of his
stupid book. He'd come in to my house this morning and immediately proudly handed me a copy. He'd given me a copy of the first edition for my birthday (specially adapted so his name read correctly - Collings - on the front, rather than his nom be plume, Collins) and knew I had bought a copy and read it already, but apparently felt it was important that I had three copies of his book, just in case of emergency. There is a new chapter at the end of the new edition at least, so that's something. And it's a very enjoyable book, as I said when
I read it back in 2007.
Anyway, knowing Collings is too modest and wishy-washy to promote his own book I decided to mention it, genuinely helpfully holding it up to the computer as I talked about it, forgetting that we were only on an audio. I was glad to mention it because as I say in that old entry it is a book that is in part dedicated to me. At the front Collings says the book is for his mentors and then in the introduction lists the people he considers deserve that distinction. And I was one of those names. At least I had been in the first edition, but as I turned, on air (so to speak), to the page to see my name, I was a little stopped in my tracks. Where was it? It's quite a long list and I thought maybe I had missed it. But I couldn't find it. Andrew thought I was joking and looked at the book to show me where my name was, but he too struggled to find it. That was because it wasn't there.
He made a very convincing show of being surprised about this, which made me believe some genuine error had been made. But I am suspicious that he had the publishers take me out, maybe because of things I may have said about his mum. It was too good to be true that this discrepancy had been discovered while we were doing the podcast - in fact if we hadn't been doing the podcast I would probably never have spotted it. I threw a strop and said that we would never work again as a result of this slight. He claimed that it must accidentally have got deleted when he added a couple of new names to the end of the list, but what are the chances really? I know in truth he resents and hates me, probably because of his pent up sexual feelings for me. It made for a good end to an enjoyable and scurrilous podcast. Supposedly we are relaunching next week, which a) doesn't mean anything, it will just be exactly the same and b) won't happen as I am never working with him again, unless he pulps all the new edition and reprints it with my name in it, in massive letters, on the front cover.
Alternatively you could all go and buy his book, because if they all sell out they will have to do another print run and the can reinstate my name. If you want more podcasts then you will have to get Collings' rubbish and insulting book into the top 50 on the Amazon charts.
After the podcast I went for a run. I don't think I have done the run from my house up to Hammersmith Bridge, then round to Barnes Bridge and back, since I ran the Marathon. But I found the going pretty easy and ran 6.75 miles in 1 hour 6 minutes and 40 seconds (so my Forerunner 205 informs me), which I am very pleased with. In fact I was finding the going so easy and enjoyable that thoughts of running the Marathon entered my mind as I hit the four mile mark. Surely I won't go through all that again. Will I?
But I managed a quarter of a Marathon and there was plenty left in the tank. So who knows? There's a part of me that wants to break the four hour barrier.
No. No. I mustn't.
Tonight I compered an amazing gig at Bush Hall, with Josie Long, Tom Basden and Stewart Lee. It was great to have a bill with what I consider to be three of the best acts working in the country today, plus Stewart Lee. Ha ha, I am funny. The place was packed and everyone did a great job. Stewart was amazing and I have to reluctantly admit that he deserves the plaudits he has received in recent years. He's always been brilliant in my opinion (long before the journalists all caught on), but he's at the top of his game at the moment and topped off an exceptional night of comedy. This is the first time I can remember us being on the same bill where we haven't been doing a charity gig or the double act and funnily enough we're on together again in Tufnell Park tomorrow night too. And of course he's going to be appearing at all of the
Lyric comedy nights in the autumn. Show three is sold out, but still a few tickets left for the other two. Book now to avoid disappointment. Live comedy is the best and the standard of what is going on on the circuit at the moment is genuinely exceptional. It's great to be a tiny part of this.
