It's been a pretty busy year for me - possibly the busiest ever, so after today I have decided to take the rest of the year off. It's all I deserve. For a man who wastes so much of his valuable time playing patience on his iPhone I have achieved a surprising amount.
Today though there was more to get done. I reluctantly got out of bed this morning to go the cafe to meet a brooding Andrew Collings. He had said he didn't want to do a podcast this week, but I appealed to his sense of loyalty and encouraged him to do so, saying I needed to promote my London run. He is a nice man, despite everything, and he agreed. Plus I think he wanted to talk about my Mastermind failure.
So we recorded the final podcast of a podcast heavy year,
officially number 144. It's hard to believe that we've been doing these on pretty much a weekly basis for the best part of three years. I don't know if we'll manage another three. There have been moments when our relationship has become strained and where one or the other (or sometimes both of us) have almost had enough of it. But we are both dogged and obsessive and compulsive, so we'll probably end up doing it til one of us dies. And there's every chance that one of us will die during the podcast, being battered to death by the other.
As you get older though there aren't many people outside of your loved ones that you get together for a chat with every single week - everyone is too busy with their own families and busy lives - so it's interesting to have this imposed consistency in our lives. Though he will only ever be my colleague and I think he is a fucking idiot, I have a tiny amount of affection for this soot-eating buffoon. He's had a busy year too and he's a sensitive soul and the light joshing and heavy bullying I dole out to him sometimes take their toll. So my new year's resolution is to be lovely to him from now on. I don't think I will make it through the first week. But it's my job. And he is a dick.
It's not your job though. So if you've enjoyed anything he's done this year then why not cheer him up with a nice message on
the Collings and Herrin website or via Twitter (@CollingsA). He has to be the fall guy most of the time for the relationship to work (and also he has to not understand this to make it really funny), but one day a year where people let him know that he's quite funny and not all that rubbish might be a good thing. Or if you are an attractive young lady, perhaps you could dress up in a sexy bus conductress outfit and live out his "On The Buses" fantasies. The podcast was quite a serious one, with moments where it was even a bit sad, but I like those as much as the funny ones. The lovely thing about the Collings and Herrin podcasts is that they can be about anything we want. Some of them are rude and raucous, some of them are thoughtful, some of them are disjointed and rubbish. It's the variety that makes them enjoyable for me (even when I don't enjoy them bizarrely). Will be still be doing them in 2014. Who knows? Luckily both of us are unlikely to have any kind of massive success that will stop them. I will miss him if we stop. I've grown accustomed to his beanface.
I had wanted to go for a run in the afternoon, but I was too tired. But the diet is going well and I have pretty much shed the additional Quality Street induced Christmas weight already and feel I have the momentum to push onwards with this in the New Year.
Tonight's gig was again a little bit under half full, but the audience were marvelous and I was in a playful mood and I think it might have been the best performance of this show yet. There was a real electricity in the room and it was a brilliant way (from my pov) to end the year. I had a fun chat with a couple of the nerds behind "The Pod Delusion" after the show, which will be on their next podcast. If you like boring nerds who are idiots, then
give them a try.
That's it for 2010 for me. From now on I am relaxing all the way!
