I think when my evil sat nav disappeared that it might have been replaced by an identical, but non-evil twin. Because in the days since that Crepuscular Area (this is my new, completely different version of the Twilight Zone) episode, the device has been nothing but helpful and efficient. Before it was taking me on all kinds of unnecessary and weird detours, but now it's being super helpful. You might think I am mad - I mean would someone really go to the trouble of making an exact replica of my sat nav in order to play this opposite of a trick on me? But this sat nav looks exactly the same as the old one, but it is working to help me rather than destroy me. Earlier this week I very nearly ran out of petrol (something that has never happened to me in all my driving years), because I had forgotten that my wife had borrowed the car and I had then got stuck on the M25. But the sat nav got me out of it all by directing me to the nearest petrol station on route, as well as finding an alternate route away from the traffic jam. Today, on the way to Maidenhead, I was again stuck in awful traffic on the M25, but the sat nav found a way to escape it and got me to the gig on time. And on the way home, when I was again very low on petrol, it found the nearest pump in Slough. What an amazing piece of machinery it is. I guess in the olden days if you were out of fuel you just had to take a wild guess at where a petrol station might be or stop and ask someone (not very easy on a motorway). What a brave new world it is where a tiny little box can do so much and be so helpful, shortly before orchestrating a mass takeover of the world where machines rise up and destroy their masters.
I only wish that I could live forever so I could see the machines of the future and laugh at myself for being impressed by this little shit-box.
I was also impressed by the futuristic year of 2012 at the gig, when I managed to watch the first half of tonight's football match in the dressing room, using my phone to connect my computer to the internet. Watching live TV streaming through a phone. Incredible. It was occasionally a bit jumpy and at times reminded me of the matchplay screen from Football Manager 2, but it was basically OK. What magic. If I could take this back to the middle ages I could be king of the world. To be honest if I could take it back to 1989 I would be as well.
I love the future.
