As part of my publicity drive for Hercules I have decided to do a postal drop of excess programmes to some of the unsuspecting residents of Hammersmith.
Obviously I am just one man and I have an extremely busy life (as you know from reading my adventures), so I have chosen one Hammersmith street to blitz. I have chosen it very carefully, based on maximum number of inhabitants, collated with those residents being reasonably wealthy and thus likely theatre goers, also trying to take into account that where possible I should try and avoid parents with young kids who would require babysitters etc.
The street that best fits my mathematicaly parameters is Hammersmith Grove. This also seems an apt choice as it was one of my principle CNPS streets. So I am getting an odd sense of autistic deja vu.
I now appreciate what a tough job being a postman is. I have gone back on three separate occasions with a bag full of stickered leaflets and still only covered three quarters of the properties. There are a lot of big town houses converted into flats on this road which means a lot of going up a flight of stairs to get to the front door and also a lot of going down a flight of stairs to get to the garden flat. I can't work out if I've been totally wasting my time and resources or whether this might pay dividends by giving me the world record for the show seen by the most residents of Hammersmith Grove ever.
At the very least it is excellent exercise.
I have been feeling slightly like I am doing something illegal (and there are some swear words in the brochures so maybe I am) or at the very least shameful. The other day a man came running down the street after me. I thought he was about to collar me and say "My five year old daughter has been reading about your Talking Cock show in this disgusting programme!" But in fact he said he had come to see one of the previews and would definitely come to see the finished article. He also said that it was impressive that I was doing my own legwork. I almost said, "Impressive or slightly tragic?" But I just said, "Well no-one else is going to do it for me." Though I did feel some satisfaction that my hard work has resulted in at least two additional ticket sales. I will be surprised if I sell more than a dozen tickets through this laborious method of publicity, but you never know. To be honest if I can get people in to the early shows and they enjoy it then there is all the more chance of word of mouth spreading.
So if you live in Hammersmith Grove and haven't yet had your brochure (you either have a sign saying "No Junk Mail" which I have almost ignored because I don't consider this mail to be junk or live between 60 and 156 on the even numbered side of the road, which I haven't got to yet) then hopefully I will get round to it in the next couple of days. If you have any suggestions for other Hammersmith streets that deserve some personal publicity like this, then do let me know. Take a look at the parameters I mention above and possibly add to these - no steps to the front door, no front gardens and no more than 50 houses in the street!
If you'd like a pile of programmes to distribute yourself or leave on the reception desk at work then collar me at the venue and I'll give you some.
Like someone said of Malcom Hardee, "to say he has no shame is to drastically exaggerate the amount of shame he has." He's passed the dog-shit covered baton of lack of shame on to me. Cheers Malcom! Oi oi!
