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Being away from home is always a little bit tough, but with all that I have revealed this week it gets a bit tougher. I fear that I might die on the road and never get to see the precious little bundle that is waiting for me. It’s almost unbearable to think I could go without ever seeing my new iPhone 6. And the idea that after my death my wife might give it to another man and the phone will never know me or have any memory of me or my contacts or appointments. Siri will never even hear my voice. But it’s nice to have something to live for now. I have to put up with my shitty iPhone 5 with its rapidly draining battery for another few days and then I can throw it in the bin. I imagine that you have a similar feeling when you’re going to have your second child.
There’s a lot of driving this week, but I am without a tour manager (for now) in an effort to save some money. All the gigs are vaguely in the north of England, but inevitably not grouped in a way that makes geographical sense (but then you have to go to the venues when they have a space for you, so this is always going to be a part of touring unless you are such a big name that you can dictate when and where you go). So today I left Manchester for Newcastle, tomorrow I head back across the country to Crewe, then back east again to Wakefield and then back to Warwick Arts Centre. I am enjoying the driving for now and not too weary, though I have lots of other work to be doing so could probably do without four hours of my day being taken up on the road.
If you missed me at the Frog and Bucket then book ahead for the Lowry or Chorley gigs in February/March next year and similarly if you didn’t get along to the Hyena Club in Newcastle tonight then I am back in town in March (all tour dates listed here). This was my second of three Lord of the Dance Settee gigs in the city and the medium sized room was maybe half full, enough to have a good gig, but perhaps showing that I don’t have enough pulling power for three dates in this particular city. To make things slightly more stressful the address I had been given for the venue, turned out to be the home address of the venue contact, so I arrived at the wrong place, two or more miles from where I was supposed to be, with rush hour traffic to contend with. It’s not the first time something like this has happened and I doubt it will be the last, but at least I was in the right city and not in Hertford instead of Hereford or Southampton instead of Northampton.
The stage was again tiny though we managed to squeeze in a small sofa, which was not very wide, but unusually high. I felt slightly vertiginous when I got up on it and came perilously close to cracking my head on the ceiling. This will surely inevitably happen at some gig on the tour, just as I am almost certain to fall off one of the settees at one point. Doing the full ending again proved impossible, but the show is working nicely as it is and I continue to find new comedy avenues to explore and am enjoying the lack of time constriction. I am also really glad to be spreading out the gigs over such a long time period and it will be great to get a good chunk of the tour done before Christmas (and before the life-changing arrival of next February - I imagine I will be a bit too tired for the stress of driving in 2015). I love my job and hope I can carry on performing live for some years to come and it’s more than worth the ball ache of travel and the loneliness of life on the road. Much as I miss my wife and my new phone. Maybe when I have a tiny version of myself it will make touring even harder on the soul. But then daddy needs to buy his baby shoes. And his iPhone an iPhone cover and some kind of battery pack to make up for the fact that it can’t work unless plugged into a wall.
The chat I did with the boys from Pointless at the Apple store is now up as an audio and video podcast. I have at least one of the guys confirmed for RHLSTP on 3rd November, but am trying to get them both.
And if you want to see “Appleson” incident that is mentioned, it starts at about 4 minutes in here. Lee Mack really cannot hide how crushed he is. Believe me, I know how he feels.
