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Saturday 1st January 2011

I never thought I would live to see 2011. I thought it was all packing up in 1999. Nostradamus lied to me.
Time to leave the old year behind me and move onwards with the new. Though we know by now that nothing really ever changes.
We went for a New Year's Day walk down by the river today. Great to have another day off, away from work, though even so I couldn't escape entirely. I mentioned on the last podcast that I think I might be a part of a big Truman Show style stunt, (and if I am right, presumably you all know about that anyway - and if you don't then it's just you and me who aren't in on it) or maybe God really won't be mocked and is playing tricks on me. As we walked down between Barnes and Hammersmith bridge I heard a familiar voice and I looked up to see Celebrity Mastermind host, John Humphreys walking towards me. What are the chances of that? It was like I wasn't going to be allowed to leave 2010 behind at all. He seemed happy with his own life and was with someone else enjoying himself, so I didn't feel the desire to interrupt him to say hello. I imagine it would have been a little bit awkward if I did. But I am shy and respect people's privacy and didn't think he would necessarily recall me immediately and didn't say anything. I think he might have spotted me just as we passed, but he didn't say anything either. Strange for our paths to have crossed again. If I had stopped and chatted I might have blurted out that he somehow reminds me a bit of my Aunty Jean. I don't know who should be more offended by that, him or her. Although my Aunty Jean is a great woman, so it's a compliment really.
There were lots of people out enjoying the day off and the grey New Year Day. At one point our path was blocked by two groups of people who had met and obviously knew each other and were wishing each other an enthusiastic happy new year. They didn't seem to give a thought for anyone else and we only got through the throng with difficulty. I wondered what would have happened if I had just joined in with the hugs and kisses and ruffling of the children's hair, as if I had thought they were just ebullient strangers caught up in the spirit of the day. Would they have backed away from me, explaining that they knew each other or would the embarrassment of the situation meant that they would just have let it go and wished me happy new year back. I was too chicken to actually do it, of course, too reserved to turn my life into a comedy experiment (in usual circumstances, though on other occasions I have turned my whole life over to comedy). I commented to my girlfriend that I was looking forward to the day when my mind finally went and I behaved in the way that my comedy instincts wanted me to all the time. It would be liberating for sure. I could have hugged some strangers and told John Humphreys that he reminded me of a woman if only I had less reserve or more bravery or less sanity.
Maybe 2012 will be the year that I make the break from reality. 2011 continues as per usual.

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