Bookmark and Share

Wednesday 14th May 2003

I finally got to see “Bowling for Columbine” last night. I think Michael Moore is a bit in love with himself, but he does produce some interesting and thought provoking work and he’s always definitely worth having a listen to.
The American pre-occupation with guns and violence is indeed terrifying (especially given their level of control over everything) and I think Moore is right to suggest that a state which promotes so much violence in the world, should not be that surprised if its citizens also turn to violence to express themselves, nor indeed if their enemies choose to respond to them in the same way they have been treated.
I also think the South Park guy (who weirdly went to Columbine too) makes some good points about how feelings of teenage alienation and failure seem so important at the time, but are transitory. Certainly we might feel powerless and oppressed as kids and violence might seem like the ultimate revenge for the belittlement that we all experience. But none of it is important in the long run and there are so many better ways of expressing that frustration. Shooting people dead is the easiest way to overcome any problem you have with them in the short term, but I would argue that it is worth searching for a more difficult, but less final solution.
I hope the Americans can see sense and do something about their obvious gun problem, but think it is extremely unlikely.
Certainly Moore covers the subject of school shootings more sensitively and intelligently than Kelly Rowlands (or as the little black girl from Grange Hill would call her, Kelly Row-lands - and yes I am aware it's actually Kelly Rowland, but regular readers will understand!), whose song about a bloke going off his nut and murdering his class-mates has been increasingly annoying me over the last few months.
When I first heard the song, I quite liked the quirkiness of all the stuff about the girl having the same sized hands as Marilyn Monroe. It seemed like an unusual thing to sing about. Then one day I listened to the words in the rest of the song and realised what it was about and it is such a trite and superficial way to try and cover such a complicated and tragic issue.
If anything it makes me side with the quiet boy who blows his fuse and guns down his school chums. If nothing else because Kelly Rowlands seems to think he is weird just for enjoying studying books on science. What kind of message is that putting out? She acknowledges that all the smart stuff he likes isn’t “cool” and argues that his alienation at being clever is enough for him to kill his more cool peers. Maybe it would be better if Rowlands sang a song that pointed out that studying hard at school might be a good idea for everyone and that possibly being good at science is more important than having the same sized hands as a dead film star.
Because it is also interesting what she laments about the victims of the murder, and how superficial her feelings are.
Personally if I were killed, I would hope there would be more to say about me than the fact that part of my body shared similar dimensions to that of a long dead celebrity (although maybe if the body part was different and the movie star was Errol Flynn then I wouldn’t mind so much). It’s like having the same sized hands as Marilyn Monroe somehow confers the status of Marilyn Monroe on to you and makes you important. Why would you want to be like Marilyn Monroe anyway? She was a tragic figure. Is that the point of the song? I don’t think so. What Rowlands laments is the fact that Mary “could have been a movie star” but “she never got the chance to go that far.”
It’s as if being a movie star is the most important thing that could happen to anyone. Yet the example of Marilyn Monroe reveals how superficial and stupid being a movie star can be. And to be honest what were the chances of Mary going on to be a movie star? She’s presumably quite attractive and has hands the same size as another film actor. But there’s quite a lot more to it than that. To be honest any 16 year old girl “could” be a movie star, but it is something that is extremely unlikely to happen, even if you do get a chance to go that far. More likely she would have been a waitress, trying to be a movie star and failing. Not that that would matter. There is dignity in being a waitress that isn’t apparent in all movie stars. Just it’s an odd aspiration to bestow on someone. The tragedy surely is that a young person has been senselessly slaughtered, not that they might possibly have one day become something as spiritually unrewarding as a movie star.
The other victim that Rowlands mentions is a bloke who can chuck a ball into a basketball hoop from twenty feet away. ThatÂ’s quite a skill, but is it the most important thing about a young personÂ’s life. Again this fella has the chance to become a celebrity because of his skill. He has a try-out for the Sixers (which IÂ’m guessing is some kind of basketball team, rather than something to do with the cub scout movement). The song seems to bemoaning the fact that we have lost two potential celebrities, rather than two actual young people. That this was all about being cool or not. The priorities are all to cock.
Yet the song doesnÂ’t make the link between the increasing importance of celebrity and the disillusionment of those who could never aspire to those virtues of beauty and wealth and coolness.
If the society values those things so highly then how will those who are conventionally unattractive and poor and uncool and have no apparent route out of their dead-end lives going to respond.
It is because of these notions that the previously quiet and respectful young man has rebelled against the beautiful, sporty people who mocked him and castigated him. Ironically as a clever bloke he had a much better chance of being a success outside the confines of his school, whereas becoming a top actress or sportsman would most probably have eluded the people he murdered.
He chose a stupid way to show his frustration but you can understand why he might have felt like doing it.
I’m quite a clever bloke who likes reading about science and smart stuff and and Kelly Rowlands is an attractive girl who is already a celebrity and has a pretty good shot at being a movie star and I feel like killing her. If only because she insists on singing “Her life was stole.”
No it wasnÂ’t. It was stolen! Stolen!
Maybe if youÂ’d read some books about smart stuff you would have realised that. And you could also have written a song which tried to really understand why stuff like this happens. It makes me so cross that IÂ’m not sure I would be responsible for my actions if I met her.

I guess Kelly Rowlands is just lucky that the gun laws are so much stricter in the UK!

Bookmark and Share



Subscribe to my Substack here
See RHLSTP on tour Guests and ticket links here
Help us make more podcasts by becoming a badger You get loads of extras if you do.
To join Richard's Substack (and get a lot of emails) visit:

richardherring.substack.com