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Sunday 19th June 2005

I was gigging in Wells tonight, which was another step back into the past for me as this fine city is the other end of the 126 bus route. The West Country seems to be drawing me back in and it was a bit of a kick to come and perform my filth in this fine Cathedral town. The gig was organised by a seventeen year old who is sitting his GCSE Maths tomorrow (good luck Ben, hope it went well - don't worry it's not like it's an O level. I think you get an A just for knowing what number comes after 4), who I now realise wasn't even alive when I first performed in Edinburgh. If I was writing this drunk (and I would never do such a thing) I would have instantly sobered up at that thought. Without being patronising (no actual with being patronising, the minute you have said "without being patronising, you can't help but be anything else... and I definitely am being patronising) despite his young years he did an excellent job of it, despite being a barely formed foetus face from the late 1980s. There was a big crowd (of all ages, I think the boy on the front row was 12, which gave me some ammunition in the gig to be at my offensive best) and a great atmosphere.
I told the assembled throng about my main reminiscence of Wells, which was of course seeing my first ever porn film here. By which I mean it was the first porn film I watched, rather than being the first time I saw a porn film that I had appeared in. That was to come at a later date.
As with Taunton the crowd were a delight and went along with even the more perverse bits of the set and enjoyed me discussing the nature of ageing with the 12 year old, who I advised to go out and live his life and impregnate someone as soon as humanly possible. The people of Somerset are not stuck up and prudish like those Lincoln and Bracknell idiots. It was good to be home.
Except it isn't home. Because I had a long drive home. I took care not to set off any speed cameras on the way!

Incidentally I have just heard that early sales of my tickets for the Edinburgh Fringe are looking good. There are of course still thousands of tickets left, but it augurs well for selling out more often than not and I am back at the Pleasance where it should be easier to find an audience. So please do book ahead now if you can to avoid or insure disappointment. You can do this on-online at www.edfringe.com. I would be especially quick if you want to take advantage of the half price tickets in the first few days.
So don't delay. Book today!

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