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It’s a trite and often made point but many of life’s milestones pass by without you even noticing them. For some reason today I was thinking about the fact that the last lift in a car I got from my dad has definitely happened and yet I don’t remember it and of course I didn’t realise at the time.
Obviously this is true of many things. I have probably carried my daughter upstairs for the last time and don’t remember the final time I did it. I don’t remember the last time I changed a nappy. I don’t remember the last time I played Frisbee with my brother. I could go on because there’s millions of these. It's interesting which ones pop into your mind when you think about it though.
For some reason the getting a lift from my dad hit me today. For a big chunk of my life all my lifts were from my dad (or mum) and even when I was an adult and had left home, my dad would pick me up from the station or drive us to wherever we were going. I didn’t learn to drive til my mid-20s and didn’t have a car until my thirties. And dad was still driving well into his seventies. But he doesn’t drive any more (and incredibly he’s 87 now, which is something I can’t quite process as that would make me 56) so there will never be another lift. But at some point in the last two decades I must have got into a car that he was driving and gone somewhere. But none of us realised at the time that this was the last time. And I can't even begin to tell you when it was. No idea at all.
It’s meaningless and sort of boring as an observation, but also profound. Moments pass with without us grasping their significance until later or maybe until so late that we can no longer hope to recall them. I suppose it feels more meaningful because dad driving me around was such a big part of my life and so many of those trips went unremarked and without thanks, but somewhere in my psyche they represent safety and security so it would have been nice to make a big deal of the last one. So maybe I should make him drive me somewhere when we visit in a few days, even though he will probably crash and kill us both.
I do remember him carrying me into the house when I had fallen asleep in the back of the car though and even the time that I pretended to fall asleep so that he'd carry me into the house. Because I liked it. Which might have been the last time that happened. So that's something.
Obviously I was 28 years old at the time.
I have decided to stop filling in my Zoe app over Christmas (first time in four months that I won’t have logged food) and whilst I will try to make good choices I am also going to give myself free licence to eat whatever I like. It’s a traditional Christmas where you get a few days of eating fine foods before returning to the drudgery of regular life. We are having a quick holiday in early January so I suspect it will be a couple of weeks until I can get back into diet and exercise properly (and I’ve been easing off exercise since I had my little turn). So let’s see if I can put back on all the weight I’ve lost in a fortnight. Wish me luck.
I slightly fancy a drink as well, but I doubt that I will break my resolve before 3 years are up and once it’s the new year it will be time for my fourth dry January in a row (actually the sixth in a row as I gave up for 13 months from 2019-2020 too. Am I really never going to drink alcohol again. I feel equallly thrilled and appalled by that idea.
RHLSTP Book Club with Alasdair Beckett-King is now up wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening this year (if you did). We’ve got a special Christmas podcast for you with a comedian you’ve almost certainly never heard of, but that you should still listen to. And then there’s five best of shows between Boxing Day and New Year. Spread the word to anyone you think might like the show. We’re just about keeping our heads above water in an increasingly competitive market, so anything you can do to keep the downloads coming is very much appreciated. But just listening to the occasional episode is enough of a commitment!
