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Monday 22nd April 2013

I received one very tired wife this lunchtime, but she went to bed to try and catch up on missed sleep so I still had the afternoon to myself. On heading out to run some errands I was upset to notice that the front passenger side wheel of my car looked pretty flat. I have only had this car a month and I've scarcely used it and I've broken it already. I'd rather a flat tyre than a dent or a scratch, especially as the former is unlikely to be my fault, but it was still annoying. A few years ago some kids (I presume, or some demented adults) went through a phase of slashing tyres and I hoped that that wasn't starting up again. It's an inconvenient and expensive and slightly boring prank.
The big question was whether I was going to attempt to change the tyre myself. In theory I know what to do - and I watched an online step-by-step guide to remind myself, but in practice removing the alloy wheels and finding the correct spot for the jack might be over complicated for my non-technical brain. Was it worth putting the jack through the floor of my car in order to prove my adept manliness or should I just accept that I am a male eunuch and pay a proper man to do it for me (or a woman who would still be more manly than me). I decided to make the decision in the morning. I pumped up the tyre to double-check that it was punctured (I suppose some really boring prankster might have just let the air out). But I was pretty certain that the tyre was fucked and that it was going to be the first part of my car to be replaced. It's lucky I noticed now and not when I was about to drive to Colchester. The tyre stayed up long enough for me to think that I can probably drive it to a garage in the morning, but it was flat again by night-time. How annoying.
I decided to show my car some love by attempting to wash it, something I very rarely did for my previous car, but it seems like I should try and keep this new one in good shape as long as possible. Also I had harmed its paw (accidentally) and I wanted to show it that I still loved it. But even properly washing a car is quite a tricky and technical exercise and whilst I found it strangely therapeutic I wasn't convinced that I had done a fantastic job. But at least I got to use all the cleaning equipment I bought last month once. I didn't bother cleaning the tyre - I was pretty sure it was beyond repair.
Perhaps I should change the tyre myself - it would as many pointed out on Twitter make a good Metro column. But by the end of the day I had pretty much decided that I'd be taking it into Kwik-Gits in the morning. But I came close to taking the leap into the world of men. I still get overwhelmed by these little set-backs even though they are usually fairly easy to solve by yourself or with assistance.
But I had a lovely evening out eating Thai food and drinking beer with my wife, who appeared to have missed me too, despite my lack or testicles and my many faults.

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