I fell asleep on the sofa whilst watching the Simpsons this evening, like the old man that perhaps I am. Though I think the relentlessness of my schedule allows for this.
I was up early to record
Podcast 56 although before that I had to help a delivery guy carry in the 4000 extra show programmes I've had to have printed up due to the unexpected numbers of people coming to see the show.
I also had to have a shave as in the afternoon I'd be shooting the photo for the "Hitler Moustache" poster. I've been growing my facial hair for about two to three weeks now so that I would have enough fuzz beneath my nose to make an attempt at a decent "toothbrush". But as there was going to be a make up lady at the shoot and I didn't know if I was ready to go out and about with the Hitler just yet, I just shaved down to the full moustache for the podcast. As I answered the door, wearing a white "I hate Oatmilk" T shirt given to me by Robin Bresnark in Oxford last night and my black leather jacket, I think Collings thought I was vying for the role of lead singer of Queen. I was aware that I would have to go out into the world like this and actually wondered if this unironic moustache might actually be more embarrassing than a Hitler one.
I was a little grouchy for the actual podcast, but most of that grouchiness was put on for effect and to annoy the people who despite listening weekly don't seem to understand that most of the times my anger and frustration is entirely manufactured and that my petty attempts to promote myself are largely a joke. But it's fun to do that all the more knowing that it is annoying idiots. I rarely feel very happy with my contribution to these podcasts, because it's against all performance instincts to go into something totally unprepared and without a script and then put out the stuff you've improvised with no editing. That is actually what, for me, makes the podcast so great. I've said it before, but the rubbish stuff is actually what makes it special. Because it's a stream of consciousness and two men battling to talk over each other and yet despite this sometimes something good comes out of it. Much of it is embarrassing to me, especially when a joke fails or I mangle up what I'm trying to say or push things too far. Again if you don't get that that's what makes it good, then stop listening. It's pretty brave of us to allow some of the more rubbishy bits to go out, and yet we're committed only to making an edit when we accidentally say something that is just too libelous or in which with the best intentions, what we're saying comes out a bit wrong and is offensive in a real, rather than childish and deliberate sense.
This kind of happened today and so we cut out around a minute of what we'd (or really I'd) said, because I was accusing someone of being racist when they weren't actually being racist and though my intentions were good, I decided that not only was I libeling someone (and it didn't make any difference that he is a twat), but also was inadvertently being racist myself. The focus of the little rant was not clear enough and I also tried to introduce a serious reflection on the haunting and brilliant
Billie Holiday song, "Strange Fruit" that I had heard on the radio last night. It was too much of a mish-mash of ideas, so Andrew used his editing skills to take the whole thing out.
It's only the third of fourth edit we've done in around about 60 hours of talking and if you listen to the rest of the show you will see I say plenty of other stuff that is offensive and silly, some of which doesn't quite work. But whilst most of you understand the knowing irony of most of what I am saying, if things go wrong and are not defensible then it's good we have the judgement to remove it.
Anyway, as with most weeks I felt that it hadn't been a great podcast, but usually I am too hard on myself. A comedian is bound to focus on the failures and embarrassments, rather than the successes - something confirmed to me when I finally got round to watching Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedian" tonight. It is painful for a comic to be trying out new and unrehearsed stuff and seeing his discomfort made me realise how extraordinary it is for Collings and me to be doing this test of nerve on a weekly basis, often when ill or tired and always finding a time to do it even when we're incredibly busy. For free. Always thinking carefully about overall appropriateness of what we're doing
It made me realise what tosspots the people who complain about it, when they clearly don't even understand half of what is going on.
Or maybe I am just being arrogant and self-aggrandising as usual. Anyone who has read this blog all the way through will know how I am overwhelmed by self belief and lack of self awareness.
It was vaguely amusing, after having strayed into inadvertent potential racism in the morning to then head out to a church hall in north London to shave my moustache down and attempt to recreate some iconic images of Adolf Hitler.
The genius photographer, Steve Brown, responsible for the awesome shots of Collings and me,
which you can see in the downloads section, was doing the shoot. He had found an image of Hitler used on the front of Mein Kampf which we were mainly trying to recreate - and the plan is to use the same lettering and design as that book for the poster. This in itself feels a little weird and inappropriate. But then the idea for the show is weird and inappropriate and is about whether the moustache can ever escape this iconography. Plus the Nazis were great at self-promotion, so it's not necessarily a bad idea to copy them. If I can have even a tenth of the success that they achieved (at least in their early career) then I will be very happy.
Once my hair had been greased down and my Mercury moustache turned into something much more sinister, it was slightly frightening how much I looked like the most evil man of the 20th Century. I was trying to recreate that stern look, with the coldness behind the eyes, that seems to speak of unimaginable horror, though hindsight perhaps creates that perspective. Just from the first shot I have got back from Steve it's clear he's done an amazing job in capturing that. If nothing else I might get a role playing Hitler in a drama.
The final poster might end up looking like it's for theatre rather than comedy, but I think that's a good thing. It's a serious subject and I don't want to present it too lightly. We did also do some shots with me holding up a comb and a toothbrush to create the effect of the moustache, which will hopefully make for some nice press shots. But there's something already very powerful and challenging and interesting in this plain black and white portrait. Is it Hitler or is it Herring or is it a strange mixture of the two. With an image this strong I don't think I even need to worry too much about having a show. Which of course I don't at the moment.
Oh and if you think I am a comedian full of arrogance and no self awareness, then you really must watch "Comedian" and see the extraordinary cocky and yet vulnerable Orny Adams. It's like Dr Frankingstein has taken the most self-involved parts of every comedian in the world and made them into one uber comic. Perhaps the film deliberately paints him in this light, but some of the things he says and his naked and pointless ambition. He seems to want fame almost for its own sake or at least to vindicate his existence and perhaps he should be applauded for his honesty about this, because many others try to hide it even though they want the same thing. But he is an astonishing and fascinating man. Highly recommended film for those interested in the mechanic and machinations of the comedy world.
