I have become a little obsessed with Lord Alan Sugar's Twitter feed of late. His arguably sexist promotion of his company's nail-files a few months ago indirectly led to me discovering the existence of the willy brush (the purchase of which led to embarrassment with my bank and which has mysteriously hardly even featured in my live show which is why I claimed I was buying it). But more recently I have been enjoying his football updates. He keeps his followers abreast of some football scores (usually the ones involving Spurs, but occasionally others), which is a fine service, for all those people with access to Twitter, but no access to a TV showing the game or any other part of the internet which might give an update.
But what if you want to follow the Spurs game and don't have a TV or access to the internet and you don't follow Lord Sugar (or are blocked by him)? Well never fear, I am here and providing a new Twitter service where I Retweet Lord Sugar's score updates (and more reluctantly his analysis of the match - he should know that we only require scores and perhaps news of near misses from him). Some people seemed to think that such a service was redundant, but a lot more enjoyed it today, which makes me think I am on to something. It's a slightly frustrating way to keep up with the match as Sugar is often slow to update and his tweets are littered with errors (perhaps because he is tweeting from his company's devices) and it relies on me spotting his tweet and having good internet access myself. I was on the train to Norwich today and the wifi kept coming in and out and I was also supposed to be writing a TV comedy drama treatment and was trying to follow the progress of York City (which selfishly Sugar never tweets about). But if you follow me and want to know the Spurs score, as long as I am not busy elsewhere and as long as Alan Sugar keeps up his end of the bargain and doesn't go off on bike rides because he's annoyed that Spurs are playing badly, then eventually you should be kept abreast of all the action.
It's not quite as exciting as me live-tweeting the QPR home game scores based on the noise from the stadium, but it's just one of the many tendrils of my spreading media empire. It's the one-stop shop for some quite specific niche interest football tweets.
Here's some of the highlights for those of you who missed the live excitement or who were waiting for tweet of the day
For those of you following me for my RTs of Lord S's soccer updates RT @Lord_Sugar: Goal Bale goalie and defender error what a mess by Wigan
It's the only way you can keep in the know about a limited number of football matches. Follow me and I will RT Lord Sugar's updates.
If only there was an easier way for you to find out. But there ISN'T
Sounds like an exciting game even third hand RT @Lord_Sugar: Nearly as stupid defending by Spurs resulting in and equaliser from Wigan 1-1
Apologies in the slight delay in getting these Sugary scores to you. I am somewhat reliant of Lord Sugar and a dodgy internet connection
RT @MCMattSally: For anyone unwilling to follow you to follow Lord Sugar following the football, maybe I could RT your Sugar RTs?
@MCMattSally It's a big commitment - are you sure you're up for it?
This is opinion, not news RT @Lord_Sugar: We need to step up the pressure you can see Spurs heads are down for the quick equaliser
RT @stevepaget: I'm going to print off your RTs and send them to my Mum in Australia.
RT @EmJayLambert: I'm relaying your Sugar RTs via semaphore to the boat next door.
RT @skijumptoes: im burying your tweets in the ground as a multi cache series for geocachers. camouflage or black containers?
Camouflage
RT @simontreanor: I'm watching Final Score on the BBC+ they're just reading your tweets. If you lose connection it's going to be quiet show
RT @Lord_Sugar: when Spurs play relegation material like Wigan don't seem to perform. All others seems to beat them,we tend to let them win
Just the scores please Alan. People aren't following me to find out your opinions on how spurs play. Just cold hard action.
RT @jimbobthomas: If only Carl Sagan were still alive so he could etch them in to gold disc and send it to our cosmic cousins?
RT @tetsell: Will you be RT'ing the Spurs side's opinions on the new series of The Apprentice?
If there is time.
RT @Lord_Sugar: Need to bring on Lennon to change the game
Anyone going to tell him that he was shot in 1980?
RT @Lord_Sugar: While the game has stopped due to injury I am de- scumming foul mouth pond life by blocking them
I am staying very quiet.
If I get blocked then someone is going to have to RT me Lord Sugar's comments so I can RT them. But I will select that person carefully.
RT @Lord_Sugar: Walker can run but he can't pass/cross a ball
I might have to get selective on these - he's having a crack at Roy Walker now. The man's got to be 70.
RT @Lord_Sugar: We have given away another corner, danger we can't defend
He's back on message. I wonder what will happen at this corner. He has painted us quite a picture. I am hanging on his next tweet
This corner is taking a long time to play out. I am on tenterhooks
You can't just mention a corner and then not report the outcome. Sugar wouldn't do that to us.
RT @Alexrenton: I'm watching the same game. Nothing happened from corner but we look vulnerable from set pieces
As if I can trust you. When you have invented a phone that can also email then maybe you get to tell people about football matches, but not til then
RT @alexandronov: he did talk about the danger he was in in that tweet.
Half-Time Daggers 0 York 0 - I have become him. I have become him.
RT @Lord_Sugar: When was the last time Spurs scored from a corner ?
Anyone know? I presume he doesn't mean directly
RT @Lord_Sugar: Oh dear 2-1 Wigan was a good strike . I did say we can't beat relegation material look at our history over he pat 3 years .
he pat?
RT @Lord Sugar How can you beat the champions 3-1 and lose to all the lower level teams.This Spurs hallmark,look at the past 3 years. We do it all the time
This is all very interesting but what happened during that corner. I sense a cover-up.
RT @Lord Sugar Planing my last bike ride in Florida. Should I go now and accept we lose or wait ?
You must stay to the end @Lord_Sugar . John Motson doesn't give up just cos he's bored with the match.
Lord Sugar goes for bike rides on his plane. That's how rich he is.
RT @Lord_Sugar: The fox commentators agree with me that Lennon should come on
I agree with you too
Lord Sugar has foxes advising him on his football tweets. I do all mine on my own. York City are 1-0 up
RT @Lord_Sugar: Lennon on lets see if we can do it 16 mins to go
If he turns this around then you are vindicated Lord Alan
RT @Lord Sugar Equaliser yes see if we can clinch it in las few mins
Sorry bit slow on RT. Internet dipping in and out on train
Sorry I know many are relying on me for the sugar endorsed spurs score. Please do no unsubscribe. This service still in its infancy.
RT @Lord_Sugar: Last minute flurry too late
Sorry missed this one. hope to do better next time. no confirm of final score from AS
So at the end of the day I have no way of verifying the final score. Piecing it together I'd say it was a 2-2 draw. That is certainly the strong implication but unfortunately Lord Alan did not directly say this and without his word on the matter I am not sure that the score even legally stands.
I hope you enjoyed the catch up - I am not sure you can ever quite capture the excitement of witnessing it live. If any of you have access to a book printing and binding service then I revoke my copyright of Lord Alan's retweeted tweets and am happy for you to make a leather bound book of this exchange (and any subsequent ones) so they can be enjoyed by the people of the future. It has been an historic day. Great to get the service up and running properly just in time for pretty much the end of the season. It's free for now, but I can't guarantee that there won't be a subscription cost once we're properly up and running.
I didn't get my treatment written.
