I checked out
my latest Metro column online. It's always fun to see what the illustrator will have done and to see if the sub-editor has managed to obliterate any jokes. My version of the article about my youthful encounter with Ted Rogers and Dusty Bin had ended with a respectful, "Sorry Ted." But the version in the papers and online (until I asked for it to be changed) had read "Sorry Rogers". Which seemed an odd edit.
I assumed there had been a slip as the previous line has "Rogers" in it and maybe there had just been an accidental repetitive slip. But to refer to the dead comedian by his second name, without so much as a Mr, seemed oddly rude. Even though Ted is more familiar, in this case familiarity is appropriate and the use of a surname is not.
In fact my editor told me that the mistake had probably come about because the Metro style sheet says to use surnames rather than first names after the first mention of an individual. Which obviously makes sense in a news article, but not in something like this. It shows that slavishly following style rules can lead to a lack of style and whilst it doesn't have any massive effect on the article I did feel slightly uncomfortable about the error. But thought it was interesting that someone could make this change without considering what (admittedly small) impact it would have.
The wife and I had a long drive to Machynlleth this afternoon/evening to get to the comedy festival. We were on the road for six hours before we wearily rolled into town and things didn't start well. My wife reversed the car into a small space on the high street. And as we prepared to get out a man came up to me, tapped on my window and said, "We're in that car!" I didn't really understand what he was on about. Did he want me to be impressed that he had a car as well? Is that how things are in Wales?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You just bumped us," he said.
I was surprised. I hadn't felt anything and although the parking sensor had gone into the red zone it does that when you're really close.
"I don't think we did," I replied.
"You did. You bumped us. We felt it."
"Well I didn't feel it. Sorry if we did but I didn't notice."
He walked away. If we had bumped his car it must have been the lightest possible touch, the kind of thing that happens often enough when people are parallel parking. That's what the bumpers are for.
I got out of the car to inspect the damage. But unsurprisingly there wasn't any.
"It hasn't left a mark," he told me, "But you did bump us."
Was it worth him getting out of his car to let us know that our car had kissed his car. I still wasn't convinced it had. After all I had been in one of the cars and sensed nothing.
"Weird I didn't feel anything," I replied, "Maybe your car was rocked by a vehicle passing by quickly at the same time."
The man's wife joined in, "You definitely hit us."
"I don't think we did," I said, sarcastically reexamining our bumpers again.
"No damage done. Just be more careful in future."
Or maybe he should make less of a fuss about (possibly literally) nothing in future. It wasn't a nice way to arrive in the town.
My wife thought she might have just made contact, it turned out. But evenso I think I might have waited til we got out of the car to see if we would then give a wave of apology. But he felt the necessity to get out of his car and let us know how cross he was.
Let he who has not bumped bumpers with a car when they're parking tap the first window. Last time I did this when someone was in the bumped car
there had been perceptible contact and a slight scuff. Today's guy would have had a heart attack if he'd been involved in that pile-up.
But the altercation was soon forgotten and we had dinner and then headed up to Y Plas for the first of my four performances of the weekend. I was doing five minutes on a mixed bill of comedians. There was a good atmosphere both backstage and in the auditorium and after all this solo touring it was cool to catch up with people. Mark Thomas and I were feeling a little old amongst this gaggle of twenty and thirty-somethings. But really it's what I like about this job. It doesn't matter what age you are. There was a good group feeling amongst everyone. I think it's going to be a fun weekend, even if the first person I met here seemed rather grumpy.
