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Sunday 5th May 2013

I breakfasted with (or near to) comedians (which isn't quite as good as champions, but it's close) including Tony Law, Isy Suttie and Gamble off of the Proctor and Gamble podcast, but I couldn't stay at Mach fest for the final day as I am off to Belfast tomorrow.
I am still at the stage where the mileometer on my car is still in the early thousands so I can pretend I am in a time machine and the miles travelled is actually the year. I passed my birth year on the way to Wellingborough and also whizzed past this year and into the future. Nothing changes much. I passed the year 2500 coming home today. It's not the post-Apocalyptic waste-land that I was expecting. So my message to you people of 2013 is don't worry, keep doing what you're doing. The future is going to be sunny and pleasant for your descendants for a few centuries yet. Phew.
I don't know how I will ever get back to my own time now though. Going down the motorway in reverse doesn't seem to be helping.
Tonight we watched Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. It's a film I am so familiar with on so many levels, but I am not entirely sure that I've seen it all the way through before. We watched it with my wife's friend who knew nothing about the film, other than there was something to do with a shower in it. Let's just say she thought it was a mistake for Norman Bates to trust his mother with his guests.
It's an amazing film, mainly because there it allows suspense to do most of the work. Not very much happens in it and a lot of it involves driving in a car or two people talking. But aside from the rather creaky scene in which a psychologist over-explains what has just happened it's pretty much gripping and amazing. It's really good. If you haven't seen it (even if you feel that you have seen it) then do give it a go.
To a sophisticated 21st century cinema goer it might be suspicious that Norman Bates' mum's face is never clearly seen, but I was pleased to see that someone coming fresh to it all didn't suspect a thing. Worryingly Smithers the cat seemed fascinated by the film - he hasn't seemed to notice the TV before. But he'd stare at the action then stare back at us rather menacingly. If we all get clawed to death in our beds (or in our showers) don't let him convince you that his mum did it.
As I tend to do with old films I spent a lot of time on wikipedia checking if any of the actors are still alive or if we were just watching the shadows of ghosts dancing across our screen. Remarkably the actors who play Janet Leigh's boyfriend and sister are still live and kicking (it's like the film could see the future because SPOILER ALERT they both survive that too). The brilliant Anthony Perkins died back in the 90s of AIDS and his widow died in one of the planes that flew into the World Trade Centre on 11/9/2001. If a couple in a film were killed in this way you'd think it was a clanking attempt to encapsulate the scourges of the turn of the 21st Century.
One of the brighter facts about Perkins is that he supposedly lost his heterosexual virginity at the age of 39 to Victoria Principal. And if you're going to wait that long then it's pretty classy to lose it to someone quite that gorgeous.

According to this website, my Twitter feed is worth $143,552.40. I don't know exactly how I am meant to cash that in, but if anyone wants to buy it from me now for $100,000 US then I will let you have it. You would be making $43,552,40 for doing nothing, so please get in touch if you'd like that.

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