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First full day at Center Parcs and the nightmare of overcrowded Monday is over and the place almost seems pleasant. It's a great tactic from Ian Center and Ian Parcs. Make day one Hell and then day two will seem like Heaven, even though there are still really too many people here and everything costs money (not the hairdryers though - I was wrong about that- Please don't sue me Center Parcs. Or realise that you're giving something away for free that you could charge for). I guess margins are pretty tight for these guys as they only provide one tiny bar of soap even though the lodge has two toilets and a kitchen sink.
I have been recognised a lot in these first couple of days. In previous visits I've had a very occasional greeting or confused look from the other patrons and then usually receive a tweet or two from dads who say they spotted me but didn't want to interrupt my holiday. I don't know if I have somehow got a raised profile as a result of not having done any telly (apart from Sunday Brunch) for two years or if people have just got less embarrassed about saying stuff, but it's been noticeably different. Which I don't mind at all. People stull just say, "Hey, I like your podcasts" or "Hello" or "You are the best comedian on earth" (not the last one yet, but I am sure it will happen). Today one man ducked towards me as I returned to the changing room and said "Thanks for the comedy," which made it sound like I was responsible for the entire genre. I think he realised it was a bit of an over the top thing to say, but he was gone before we could analyse it. But then we found ourselves both waiting for our partners at the entrance to the pool. I said "Hello again" and then we just stood there a bit awkwardly.
But my favourite one was in the pool when we were waiting for the wave machine to start. The Tarzan call had gone out to indicate that it was about to happen, but the waves didn't come. Apparently there needs to be a certain number of lifeguards on duty when it happens and some had got called away after the Tarzan call, so we all just stood waiting for nothing, sometimes saying "It's starting" only to discover that it wasn't. Anyway as Ernie and me gave up on it and started leaving the pool a man said, "Are you Richard Herring?" I said that I was - it's quite impressive if people actually know my name. "From Lee and Herring?" he then asked, to make sure I wasn't a different Richard Herring to the one he was thinking of (and to be fair to him, there's still about 20 of us left). "Yes!" I confirmed. Again not that many people remember that double act from 26 years ago. He seemed impressed and then asked, "Are you still doing comedy?"
I laughed and told him that I was. But wow, what a wonderful sucker punch. I think he realised how that had come out, and blathered something about not being on Twitter any more, but luckily I genuinely found it funny. I have no illusions about the impact I have made on the populace in general. And "Are you still doing comedy?" at least implies that I was once doing comedy, so it isn't the worst comment I've had. I was mainly impressed that having apparently not seen me since 1999, this man was able to recognise me. I don't recognise 1999 me as me. He must have thought I was melting like a Nazi who had chosen the wrong grail.
In the evening I took the kids to the little beach by the lake and Ernie tried to spear the fish in there with a stick. I was pretty sure he'd fail, but he was doggedly determined to commit piscine murder. Luckily the fish were too smart for him. He made a friend who joined him and he told her that he had a net back at the lodge and would come back tomorrow to see if that would work. After talking to me Ernie suggested they returned at 5pm. Her dad seemed non-committal to the idea, but both kids seemed up for it. Would this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship or would one or both kids not bother to show up 24 hours later? I was pretty sure Ernie would be here. Was his heart going to be broken?
