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It was the second, and hopefully final day of shooting for me on the short film “The Clean” and amazingly the producers had got us the permits to film on Vauxhall Bridge and right outside the MI5 building. The policemen who turned up early to check out what the fuck we thought we were doing were as surprised by this as I was. But we had the permits and there was nothing they could do to stop us.
But whilst the police were in our pockets, we couldn’t control the weather (which passed through about five seasons in the course of the day - the four traditional ones and another new one where stuff flips around like someone is flicking a switch between the other four) and we had to stop for an hour or so for rain (rushing out every time the drops ceased in the hope of getting another shot, usually instead just getting a bit wet) and we were also somewhat hampered by 2000 people doing a walk between the bridges for Diabetes (I think to prevent it, rather than give it to more people). This is a low budget film and we were trying to get a lot done in the time allocated and it didn’t help things (or get me in the mood to be acting the part of a man giving CPR to a stranger) when gaggles of people in pink shirts and weird pink and blue head gear were traipsing through the background. We had people to hold them up, but obviously they all had as much right as us to be there (though where were their permits) so you couldn’t test their patience and kindness too much.
I wanted to incorporate them into the film and have my character have to punch his way through the crowds to get where he needed to be. As someone pointed out, I would be fighting diabetes. At least symbolically. I think this is a film that has to be made. We all want to see charity do-gooders being hit in the face whilst they do their self-righteous work.
We were lucky it was a walk and not a run, because I know there is no way I would have stopped for anyone on any of my runs. The Royal Parks Half Marathon was going on elsewhere in the city and I looked back, slightly pining to two years ago when I was super fit and doing my personal best. I hope I can give it another go at some point. But I am super unfit right now.
I was pretty certain at 5pm that they’d have to find another day where me and my fellow actor Nadine could come back and get the permits again. But somehow, as the light faded (and it’s going to take some post-production to make this work) we rushed through the two main scenes of dialogue, not having time for making mistakes (though I found it very difficult to say the phrase “Netflix subscription” quickly and I am not sure I ever quite managed it). Amazingly we managed to get everything we needed. As with Friday we’d taken the early shots in a bit of a leisurely fashion and been forced to work at a ridiculous pace for the arguably more important scenes. But again I was impressed by the focus and determination of the small crew. Sometimes on TV stuff you feel the people working on it are itching to get it over and get home, but these men and women wanted to make this the best that they could, given the circumstances.
The cameras on the MI5 building would occasionally turn in our direction, but we were judged to be benign by the snipers in the roof. Even though I was giving CPR to a man of Middle Eastern appearance whilst his wife screamed at me in Iranian. Only one Italian tourist worried that it might have been real (though I think he just wanted an excuse to come over and see what we were doing). Filming always attracts nutters (and not just the passersby) and seemingly the MI5 building also does. I heard at least two people muttering “MI5” to themselves as they passed and another woman complaining on the phone that her signal was being blocked by the government - though she was in the underpass at the time and I thought that was the more likely culprit.
As I kneeled on the wet concrete for the fifteenth time, having been outside in the cold, then warm, then wet, then cold, then hot, I wondered if the actor’s life was really for me. But it was a full day’s work from 8 til 6 with very few breaks and by the end of it I felt quite invigorated and proud of what we’d achieved.
And then, as with all acting jobs, this little team that had worked together so closely, broke into its constituent parts, never to meet up again (except maybe at the screening).
