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Thursday 7th February 2008

Days without alcohol - 39
Thanks to those of you who signed up to the Organ Donor register. Why don't you all do it? It only takes a minute.

I used the cargiant blog from two days ago for my New Statesman piece this week. I was amused that my editor wouldn't let me use the word grandmotherfucker (which I have to say I am exceptionally proud of and would like to think that I have originated it, but would be very surprised if that is the case), especially given the fact that just a few months ago I had submitted this aticle about the word motherfucker which had gone in (mainly) uncensored. I asked if he could change it to grandmotherfluffers, which he accepted, though I think if anything that is worse. A fluffer is, as you may know, someone who helps a porn star maintain his erection between scenes (a profession sadly in decline due to the advent of Viagra, though you see no-one bemoaning the loss of those particular artisans), so a grandmotherfluffer is someone who sucks his grandmother's cock, which is surely a more disturbing image.
There are one or two other changes, some stuff taken out, but a couple of bits added in. I am quite pleased with the Bono joke.

My diet continues to go well. In actual fact I am finding it a little bit difficult to eat enough food. I aiming to hit an aggregate of 2000 calories a day - with any exercise I do taken into account (ie if I do 500 calories worth of exercise I am allowed to eat 2500 calories of food).
But today I had a hearty 500 calories for breakfast, some soup, fruit and yoghurt (leave it) for lunch and a skinny latte, adding up to another 500. Then I did 30 minutes on the running machine, 15 minutes on the cross trainer and a 10 minute cycle ride, adding up to 650 calories, leaving me with 1650 calories for dinner. That's just way too much food. I had more soup, two pieces of fish, a superfood (ludicrous concept, but tasty) salad and more fruit. I still had 750 calories to eat and I am really trying not to come in too much under 2000 calories, because I think that's a bit excessive. So for supper I had a fish pie for a mere 305 calories and am now sitting here wondering what I can possibly consume to make up the 445 calorie short fall. I mean surely it's wrong to eat three dinners in one night when you're on a diet!I might need to start drinking just to ensure I don't waste away. Dietting is easy. I can see no reason why it should go wrong again as usual.
And hey, all you facebookers, I have found the most efficient way to keep you informed about what I am up to is to create a fan page, which means I can message you all collectively, rather than have to click on all individuals, so if you want to keep informed then come and sign up for it. It's here.

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