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Thursday 19th December 2002

I have started drinking herbal tea to try and wean myself off of the diet fizzy drinks I constantly drink (can't be good for you - at least not in the quantities I consume them in)
I was drinking camomile tea yesterday afternoon and it struck me how much it looked like urine. To look at it you would think you were drinking urine, yet still you go ahead and drink it. I don't think it tastes like urine, but I couldn't say for sure as I have never drunk urine (and anyone who says that I have is lying).
Is it possible that the makers of camomile tea have somehow freeze-dried urine inside tea bags and are now selling it to people as a supposedly healthy and relaxing drink? Are they laughing up their sleeves at us, saying "Ha! They think they are drinking a healthy alternative to caffeine or nutrasweet based drinks, but in fact they are drinking my wee and the wee of my family and friends!"
For all I know it could be wee that they have siphoned off from public conveniences (it's possibly a bit too yellow, suggesting that it has been through some of those yellow disinfectant blocks you get in public urinals) or perhaps they have paid tramps to wee into bottles and I bet they are paying them an exploitative wage. Though it's not like the tramps can hold on to their wee for too long, in the hope of finding a higher bidder.
Some might argue that the palaver these evil herbal tea manufacturers would have to go to, to collect this urine and then freeze dry it from a liquid into a solid leaf like substance, would make the whole process financially unviable. But maybe they aren't trying to make money out of it. Maybe they just like the idea of people drinking their wee (or wee that they have collected from elsewhere), maybe they hate the kind of people who drink herbal tea and are secretly teaching them a lesson.
The irony, of course, is that according to some people, drinking urine is good for you. So the joke's on you camomile tea makers.
Think I'll go and make myself another cup.

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