Another exciting start to the day, when I found the postman had stuffed a packet through my letterbox (this is not a euphemism) containing two copies of
"How Not To Grow Up". I was surprised to see this as the book is not out until May and I didn't think there would be advanced copies quite so soon. So it was exciting to have it in my hands. Like it was a proper book. That you could get in a shop. Though you can't. Not until May.
I had already agreed to send one copy to Colin Greene who kindly donated a large amount of money to the Hitler Moustache programme - though he lives in Japan, so I can't be sure when he will get it (it's in the post already though Colin) and I decided to give the other one to my mentor Andrew Collings for a Christmas present. I could have given it to my family, but then they would read all the disgraceful stories in it and disown me. This way I have at least five months left of them thinking I might be a decent human being. Hopefully they will all die in an accident and never get to see it. Fingers crossed.
Later I got news through that the theatres are booked for the second series of AIOTM, which will run for eight weeks. The first six will be at the Leicester Square Theatre from May 17th - June 21st and then there will be two more recorded at the Bloomsbury Theatre on 28th June and 5th July.
You can already book tickets for those two if you want. The LST ones will be £10 at ticket, but the Bloomsbury are charging £15, but in these two I will also be doing stand up - probably previews of my next Edinburgh show. So there will be lots of value. Hope you can make it along to one of the shows.
Which means that once I am back from holiday 2010 is pretty much booked up until September. I'll be touring
Hitler Moustache until April , then promoting the book in May, then AIOTM until July, then a new Edinburgh show taking me through to the end of August (though I am thinking this might be a re-working of Christ on a Bike, though I might write a play as well - but when?).
I feel both excited and slightly queasy about this massive workload. But it makes me more determined to enjoy my holiday. And my lie-ins this week!
Tonight I went out with my University pals for our annual dinner. The usual conversations about death and the past came up. I did tell them that if I died my wish was that the rest of them should all stand above my open grave and masturbate into my open coffin. I particularly liked imagining how awkward this would make them all feel, not only having to wank in front of each other, but also in front of my grieving family. But that is what I want to happen. And maybe in a morbid version of the biscuit game the last one to come has to be buried alive with me. Which will be a fitting punishment for not finding my cadaver sufficiently arousing.
Afterwards Mackay and me headed to the casino (the others having cried off home) and played roulette, both having rather a lot of luck. I won £250 and Mackay took away £505 profit. Which was a nice little Christmas bonus for us both. As someone mentioned on Twitter, perhaps the constant repetition of that roulette sound effect has given me some understanding of where the ball will fall. But it's mainly because 17, which we both play on every spin, came up three times, including the time that Mackay had put £12 on it and I'd got £4 on. A nice return at 35 to 1.
Possibly though my new found talent for controlling the roll of a die also works on the roulette wheel. How else would you explain our fortune?
In worse news though, in my crapulousness at some point I misplaced my oyster card, which had my bank card tucked in next to it. So if anyone managed to use them before I noticed might mean I did not quite make the profit I was celebrating.
Lovely fun to see my old friends again. I hope that none of them die before me. Because I am very much looking forward to my bukake funeral.
