I thought that now the podcast is over I would get some time to write my stupid Radio 4 show in the daytime (I have all but given up on the idea of seeing other people's shows or having a social life) but things keep cropping up in the middle of the day which shoot a big shotgun hole in my plans. I am meeting my producer on Friday. She will expect a script. I think I can do it, but am weary and distracted and suspect I can now only get work done on the AIOTM model of staying up all night and doing it at the last possible minute. I wish I was dead.
Yesterday the book reading sabotaged my work (it is now available
to listen to as a podcast at the British Comedy Guide or iTunes under Collings and Herrin) and today I was appearing on Richard Bacon's 5Live show at lunchtime. My morning was eaten up by sleeping, paying coins into a now functioning Natwest machine and having a brief swim and after an enjoyable chat with Phill Jupitus, Rhod Gilbert, Boyd Hilton and the future star of Bacon and Eggg, I had some lunch and then had to stock up at the supermarket.
I literally bumped into Stewart Lee by the milk. He apologised before he realised who I was. He was with his son, who has always maintained a steady distrust of me on the rare occasions he has been in my presence (almost like he has been conditioned to do so by someone in a Clockwork Orange style scenario) and has never smiled at me. When I said hello the boy pushed his face into his stroller, refusing to engage with me. Like father, like son.
This was repeated each time we passed in the aisles, but finding myself alongside them again in the check out line I pulled one of my top funny faces and the youngster, despite his years of Pavlovian training cracked and laughed. I then complimented him on his excellent skills on the mouth organ and I think the beginnings of a friendship might have been developing. I am wondering about asking him if he wants to form a double act with me called Lee and Herring, in which we do routines about the differences between being 43 and 3. But I fear his sense of humour is already too mature for him to work with me.
Stewart asked me if I had time for a coffee before his show. I didn't really, but I have spoken to so few people on a one to one basis this Fringe that it would seem a shame not to. We sat on the steps outside the Stand and pontificated on the state of the Fringe. Personally I think it's quite healthy. I think the balance of the Free Fringe/ Five Pound Fringe and the shows at the Stand alongside the more commercial venues and the massive theatres where comedians are presumably making about half a million quid for their Edinburgh runs is a good thing. All tastes are catered for. You can come up on a shoestring and try something out, or you can come up on the back of a big TV series and cash in. Increasingly I think the audience who go and see John Bishop or Ricky Gervais would probably not usually come to the Fringe, so they're not stealing punters off anyone in any significant sense and there is a chance that they are bringing people into the city who might go and see something else. But if you want to discover new comedy or get away from the mainstream there are hundreds of places to see something strange and rubbish. The Fringe will continue to change over the years and I hope I am still here to witness it in another 23 years. I enjoy the change.
I didn't have the time or more pertinently the energy to do any writing when I was home. I wallowed on the sofa, surfing the internet and putting off the trudge up the hill to the Assembly until the last possible moment.
I had my smallest audience of the Fringe so far (though I imagine that Sunday and Monday at least will be smaller still) but there were still a workable 150 people in and I ticked off the final Tuesday of the run. In my haste and with my new laziness of not changing out of my street clothes I forgot to change into my sandals for the show, but only realised as I started the sentence where I referenced them. My frazzled brain was not sharp enough to find an exit strategy so I just admitted that I had forgotten to put them on and moved on with the show.
I took my first self-paid for cab of the Fringe (the BBC got me one to take me into the Radio Scotland show I did) because I had to try to get to the Pleasance Dome as close to 11 as possible (even though my own show finishes at about 10.53 - at least I didn't have to change back into my street shoes) to take part in Al Murray's Pub Quiz. It was a nice change to be out and amongst others and it was a fun way to spend 90 minutes with this distraction. It is a proper quiz, albeit one hosted by the funniest and rudest quizmaster in the world and it threw up some very difficult questions. Usually I am quite good at this kind of thing but I struggled with most of the questions, which doesn't augur too well for my upcoming appearance on Celebrity Mastermind (I have been struggling to come up with a specialist subject, but am hoping they will let me do the cultural history of the penis, which I do know a little bit about already). But with a little assistance from Al and a small amount of my own brain power our team managed to come second and won a pack of horrible Scottish sausages.
Afterwards. I headed up the spiral staircase to Brook's performers bar at the Dome for the first time this Fringe. Normally I come here most nights, but my schedule and sobriety and the fact that the Assembly Rooms is at the other side of town have kept me away from here. It was so packed and noisy that it gave me a headache within three minutes and I had to flee in something resembling a panic. Maybe I have moved on to another stage of my life now and as I walked back home through the cold Edinburgh night I felt a bit freaked out by the fact that I am now too old for such things, but also rather pleased about that too. This Fringe has been about the work and about making the shows as good and as entertaining as possible. In the early 90s Edinburgh was my holiday, a chance to get drunk and socialise when I was too broke in the rest of the year to get out and meet people. But now it's about the shows. And the herbal tea. And the trying and failing to beat my hi-score on Pinball on the iPad.
Tomorrow I aim to get up early to work, but there's another work bomb in the middle of the day in the form of a recording of Carpool with the lovely Robert Llewelyn. I am looking forward to it immensely as I enjoyed our last chat in the car, but whither the Radio 4 script?
Ah well, you know I feed on this last minute nonsense. I am nothing if not a self-flagellating masochist.
Is it nearly over now?
And for those of you wanting to know about my tour dates. Here's what's in so far.
19-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
20-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
21-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
22-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
23-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
27-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
28-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
29-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
30-Dec-10 London Leicester Square Theatre
2-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
3-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
4-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
5-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
6-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
7-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
8-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
11-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
12-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
13-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
14-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
15-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
18-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
19-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
20-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
21-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
22-Jan-11 London Leicester Square Theatre
17-Feb-11 Canterbury Gulbenkian
18-Feb-11 Aldershot West End Centre
20-Feb-11 Swindon Wyvern Theatre
21-Feb-11 Cheltenham Town Hall
23-Feb-11 Oxford, The Glee Club
24-Feb-11 Oxford, The Glee Club
25-Feb-11 Brighton Komedia
26-Feb-11 Peterborough, Radius
1-Mar-11 Shrewsbury, Theatre Severn, Walker Theatre
2-Mar-11 Birmingham, The Glee Club
3-Mar-11 Cardiff, The Glee Club
4-Mar-11 Worcester Huntingdon Halls
5-Mar-11 Wolverhampton, Wulfrun Hall
6-Mar-11 York, Hyena 2 shows
7-Mar-11 Harrogate Theatre
8-Mar-11 Leeds Library
9-Mar-11 Leeds Library
10-Mar-11 Leeds Library
11-Mar-11 Chorley Little Theatre
12-Mar-11 Doncaster Dome
13-Mar-11 Bolton Albert Halls
15-Mar-11 Tonbridge, Tonbridge School, E.M Forster Theatre
16-Mar-11 Bath Komedia
17-Mar-11 Bath Komedia
18-Mar-11 Leamington Spa, Royal Spa Centre
19-Mar-11 Colchester Arts
22-Mar-11 Derby Assembly Rooms, Darwin Suite
24-Mar-11 Sheffield City Hall
25-Mar-11 Warrington Pyramid
26-Mar-11 Glasgow Comedy Festival, Oran Mor
27-Mar-11 Edinburgh The Stand (2 shows) 7.30 and 10pm
28-Mar-11 Preston Frog and Bucket
29-Mar-11 Manchester Frog and Bucket
30-Mar-11 Manchester Frog and Bucket
31-Mar-11 Barrow-in-Furness, The Nines
1-Apr-11 Bishop Auckland, Hilarity Bites
2-Apr-11 Saltburn Community Theatre, Hilarity Bites
3-Apr-11 Darlington, Hilarity Bites
6-Apr-11 Taunton Brewhouse
7-Apr-11 Exeter Phoenix
8-Apr-11 Cambridge Junction
9-Apr-11 Lincoln Performing Arts Centre
10-Apr-11 Durham Gala Theatre
12-Apr-11 Salford Lowry
14-Apr-11 Luton Library Theatre
15-Apr-11 Folkestone, Quarter House
16-Apr-11 Barnsley Civic Theatre
17-Apr-11 Nelson, Ace Centre
18-Apr-11 Epsom Playhouse
20-Apr-11 Runcorn, Cheshire, Brindley Arts Centre
27-Apr-11 Andover The Lights
28-Apr-11 Lowestoft, Marina Theatre
29-Apr-11 Norwich Playhouse
3-May-11 Bristol Tobacco Factory
4-May-11 Bristol Tobacco Factory
6-May-11 Salisbury Arts Centre
7-May-11 Selby Town Hall
8-May-11 Inverness Ironworks
9-May-11 Aberdeen Lemon Tree
10-May-11 Dundee, Whitehall Theatre
14-May-11 Nottingham Playhouse
15-May-11 Warwick Arts Centre
