A slightly lively crowd in Hertford tonight, but it made it interesting for me. A well-meaning fan pre-empted one of my punchlines at the start, so I sarcastically accused him of being a clairvoyant and asked him to predict what I would be saying next, "I'll give you a clue, it will probably involve cocks". Someone's phone rang for what seemed like about two minutes before I had to break off and ask what was going on. And then as I talked about masturbation I saw a woman with a hand raised, which was charmingly polite. "I have a question," she told me. "Fine," I said, "Why not? It's been that kind of a night. You can ask a question."
"You're talking about masturbation, right?"
"Yes, I am. Bit of a waste of your one question, but thanks for joining in." I let her ask her actual question though. She wanted to know how to masturbate a circumcised penis as she had always found it difficult. I told her she should stop trying to do it and concentrate on the show. I added that I wasn't really an expert on wanking off a circumcised penis, having only worked with my own uncircumcised one. But I offered to demonstrate how to work with one with a foreskin after the show. I informed her that probably using lube was the best idea and a man in a different row made a noise of affirmation, which led me to suggest that they should maybe get together in the interval.
I googled the question in the interval and found I got it pretty much right
though you also might need to use additional pressure as circumcised penises can be less sensitive. So now you know.
I was worried that extra drinks might make the second half difficult, but the group who were most sozzled quietened down and at least one of them fell asleep. Afterwards there was a bit of drama as someone fainted (I think probably due to drinking rather than the bit about the banjo string) and an ambulance was called. It didn't rush off anywhere so I guess that the person was treated on site. Hopefully all was well.
It's an amazing feeling to be
so near the bottom of this long list of gigs. The forecast for tomorrow's gig
in Regent's Park is good. It should be a really fun one and they do a barbecue beforehand, so hope to see you there. And don't forget that the Leicester Square Theatre Podcasts start up again on Monday. You can support this endeavour and ensure it continues by either
buying a ticket or
downloading an episode or the whole series. The audio will still be free on iTunes and the British Comedy Guide and we're planning to get both the audio and video versions up on Wednesday. There's a lot of people working very hard on this, so I hope you'll feel it is worth a small contribution. But if you can't afford it or don't want to pay then I hope you will inform your friends about the show. If we make any profit we will plough it back in to future projects and see where we can take independent production.
