On my way up to my gig in Rotherham I stopped at Toddington service station for dinner and coffee. I noticed the coffee shop there had an advert saying, "Caffe Ritazza - great taste in every sense."
Trying as hard as I could I could only think of two senses of what "great taste" could mean. One is a good example of the particular sensation when food, drink or other substances are placed on the tongue. The other is the heightened ability to judge and appreciate what is fine, elegant and beautiful. So it has great taste because it tastes nice and you need to be sophisticated to appreciate it. Two ways.
So why does the advert proclaim "Great taste in every sense" when "great taste in both senses" would suffice.
There is only one possible explanation and that is that Ritazza coffee is also capable of tasting things itself and has good aesthetic judgement as well. Which I am not sure is a selling point. I had already drunk my coffee, but would have done so a lot less willingly if I had realised it was sentient and capable of making choices. However great it tasted (and it was all right to be honest - not great, but that's for another complaint) it is horrible to think that as I drank it the coffee itself was also tasting me. Not so bad in my mouth as I'd just eaten an M&S avacodo salad and some pick 'n' mix (it's all right- I stole them,
so I am still smashing the evil pick 'n' mix system)). I hadn't eaten them together, I am not strange, but the residue of both would have been in my mouth for the coffee to taste. Even though this would be a strange mixture I don;'t think it would be entirely unpleasant. But once the coffee got to my stomach and was down amongst the decomposing food and bile then surely it's ability to taste would put it close to being in Hell -even more so as it got broken down and headed down into my bladder and/or intestine. Suddenly this super-sophisticated beverage must have been rueing the day that some insane scientist decided to give it the ability to perceive taste. It might not be so bad had not the coffee also been embued with the excellent critical faculty of good taste. A less sophisticated beverage might just be content that it had the ability to desern the flavour of my urine and excrement, but a coffee with good taste would be appalled at the unpleasant tang of my waste products.
I think everyone should boycott
Caffe Ritazza until a) they learn how to spell "Cafe" (they are after all in the cafe business and should know better) and b) until they make their coffee have great taste in only two sense of the word - ie that it should be enjoyable to drink and that anyone drinking it should have a level of sophistication that would be admirable to others. I couldn't sleep for worrying about what unpleasant flavour my refined coffee would be going through in my urinary tract. But then coffee has always kept me awake at night, but not usually on such a metaphysical level.
According to Chambers there are more than two definitions of taste and maybe one or two of the other ones could conceivably have the word "great" put in front of them and make sense.
Here's what Chambers says:
taste verb (tasted, tasting) 1 tr & intr to perceive the flavour of (food, drink or some other substance) by means of the sensation produced on the surface of the tongue. 2 to try or test (a food or drink) by eating or drinking a small amount of it. 3 to be aware of or recognize the flavour of something. 4 (taste of something) to have a specified flavour • This cake tastes of vanilla. 5 to eat or drink, especially in small quantities or with enjoyment • I had not tasted food for days. 6 to experience • taste defeat. noun 1 the particular sensation produced when food, drink or other substances are placed on the tongue. 2 the sense by which we perceive the flavour of food and drink, etc. 3 the quality or flavour of a food, drink or other substance that is perceived by this sense • dislike the taste of onions. 4 an act of tasting or a small quantity of food or drink tasted. 5 a first, usually brief, experience of something • a taste of what was to come. 6 the quality or flavour of something • the sweet taste of victory. 7 a liking or preference • a taste for exotic holidays. 8 the ability to judge and appreciate what is suitable, fine, elegant or beautiful • a joke in poor taste. tastable adj. to taste as needed to give a pleasing flavour • Add salt to taste.
ETYMOLOGY: 13c: from French taster to touch.
But even if that is so, my point still stands. If it's great taste in every sense then it must also be in the sense that I have discussed above. If they are going to have this phrase they must list which senses of the phrase "great taste" they mean with maybe a tick by them and also which senses they don't mean with a cross by them.
Alternatively they might mean that it is great taste in every sense in the sense that every one of your five senses will be able to taste the taste, as it's such a great taste. But to be honest that opens up a whole new can or worms.
