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I was rather honoured to be asked to attend a special Jubilee afternoon tea to celebrate the incredible work of the NHS staff at Luton Hoo hotel this afternoon. I was the guest of the East and North Hertfordshire NHS Trust, who are still in the midst of a bitter war with the West and South Hertfordshire NHS Trust. I hate those pricks. I doubt that Hertfordshire can ever be reunited as one, but maybe one day we will conquer those traitors. I, or rather you, had raised money for them by running that half-marathon last year, which, I think we can all agree, was a much tougher thing to do than any of the NHS staff had to endure in the last couple of years, so I am earned my place at the table. It was your money that got me there, but I got to eat the sandwiches and scones. Life is sometimes unfair.
It was, however, a great privilege to be in the same room as this selection of NHS staff, all of who had been nominated by their peers. I can’t even imagine what they’ve been through on our behalf and am furious that our government seems to be shifting into a mode of blaming them for the huge backlogs that have been caused by Covid or dared to accuse them of partying after work. Sure, a few of them got a cream tea now, but lockdown is over and some of them were going straight back to work after this event - there was no provision to give them a day off.
I owe the NHS my life, or at least however much longer their prudent pruning of my genitalia gives me. You or someone you love probably owes them a life too. Why aren’t people more outraged by the government badmouthing these heroes and attempting to run the NHS into the ground? We’ve seen how easy it is for them to find (and often lose) billions of pounds. It’s a choice. And yet you keep voting for them. Probably not you personally, but you know what I mean.
As usual most of the people there had no idea who I was, which is to be expected, but a couple of people were fans of the podcast or Taskmaster which led to an odd disconnect. They were talking to a man they’’d never heard of, who claimed to be a comedian, but who must be pretty bad given his lack of fame, only for someone to approach and be breathless with excitement to meet me. Even I think that’s surprising, but imagine trying to process it. It would feel like you were being punk’d. Why are so few people being punk’d these days?
In some ways doing a puppet show during lockdown was not as important as the work anyone else in this room was doing. But I got to eat just as many cakes as everyone else, so it jus goes to show.
Catie was out all day, so I had to get the kids to bed before Twitch of Fun and Phoebe was keen not to sleep so I didn’t get much time to check everything was in place. But Twitch of Fun isn’t Twitch of Fun unless it’s entirely made up on the spot and 40% embarrassing rubbish and 60% just regular rubbish. Some funny stuff seemed to happen.
Judge for yourself here.
I can’t tell any more.
But if you want to find out whether Heidi is a real person, Rob says they are both coming to the Twitch of Fun gig on Monday (though I suspect he’ll turn up with a load of toasters stuck together). It’s selling well,
but there are tickets up for grabs. Only £11 and you also get a RHLSTP with Dick and Dom for that price. And get to sit amongst the most oddball fans of literal oddball comedian. Who could resist?
