I've racked up a fair few miles of travelling for my last two gigs - today I was flying to Belfast, the town made famous
by this song by Boney M. And if this masterpiece could not solve the troubles this city was facing then nothing could. It summed it up with me with this verse, "Belfast, Belfast, When the country rings the leaving bell you're lost
Belfast, Belfast, When the hate you have for one another's past.
You can try (you can try) You can try (you can try)
You can try to tell the world the reason why.
Belfast."
Though as someone pointed out on Twitter the orange head dresses were probably a little inflammatory. The troubles might have been over a quarter of a century earlier if the Ms hadn't stuck their oar in.
They should have stuck to what they knew about, the history of pre-revolutionary Russia.
I was playing a big tent in the Cathedral Quarter and sales were really good. In previous years I have played the smallish Black Box (if I have come to Belfast at all) but buoyed by the Bank Holiday and this being part of a festival I had over 400 people in tonight. And I had lots of fun with them.
In my first solo visit to this city (we'd done a couple of gigs as Lee and Herring) I performed a rather nervous version of Christ on a Bike in 2002, aware that a dissection of Christianity might be unwelcome in a city divided over whether bread literally becomes Jesus or not (I am no Boney M but I think it might be more complicated than that). The tension I felt made for a fairly laugh free evening, until near the end I made a claim that the show would have doubtless sorted out the religious conflict, which got a big laugh. Everyone relaxed and the last five minutes was great. The lesson I learned was that it's usually best to address the elephant in the room early on.
Tonight as I discussed the Sumerian God Enki, who spunked up to create the Euphrates and who wanted his penis to be praised I remarked that North and South might finally be united if they all worshipped him and his cock. At the start of the second half after a couple of gags at the Pope's expense I broke off to explain that I hated Protestants too, so it was all right. In fact I claimed to hate them more than Catholics because if you're going to believe something then you should believe it, you can't just go changing bits because you don't like them. It's a fine line to tread and something that comes with experience and confidence and I suppose you have to earn the right to make such satirical comments. I am not sure Boney M had done enough to be wading in back in 1977 and I am sure that if Stewart Lee and me had done such material in 1992 when we played the University for our radio show it might have had a different feel to it. That time there had been a major incident that week and we were freaked out by seeing soldiers and policemen with machine guns and I was genuinely terrified for my life.
Things have changed in this city thank God. Roy Walker played the prison last night (it is no longer a prison, though I hope he made a joke about so many entertainers of his ilk ending up somewhere similar) and the tensions whilst not completely eradicated are very much dissipated.
I had a whole lot of fun.
Before the gig I had eaten in a restaurant overlooking the square where I was performing. The queue was beginning to form as I finished my dinner and one of the other diners asked what was going on in the tent. The waiter told him that it was a comedy festival, but added that he didn't know who was on tonight. Should I shout out that it was me?
"Is it all ticket?" asked the curious diner.
"Yes, it is," said the waiter.
Again it was hard to resist the temptation to let them know that there were a few tickets left to buy on the door. But I resisted it.
It says a lot about my bizarre level of notoriety that I am able to get 400 people to come and see me in a city, but that I can sit in a restaurant without anyone knowing who I am. Having seen some of the hassle my more successful peers get in the street and in the newspapers I do feel quite happy about that. Ultimately I want to get to the point where only 500 or so people in every city know who I am, but all of them like me enough to buy a ticket to my show.
The RHLSTP (BATMCF) I did with Pappys on Saturday is now
up at the British Comedy Guide and iTunes.
